Shot to the Heart
by MaNiQ1
Summary: 5-part Story about a Torrid and Angst-driven, deceptive Love triangle Between, Damon, Bonnie, and Enzo and bits of Elena as told from Bonnie's POV. An angsty, smutty lesson in love. (Bamon, Delena, Bonenzo) COMPLETE!
1. Can't love him

**This is just a one shot, or maybe a two shot, idk.**

* * *

 **Can't love him.**

 _Bonnie is in a relationship with her fiancé, who's been cheating on her, He solicits his best friend to baby sit her so he can do his dirt. They begin having an affair. She has to make a decision when one is tired of sharing her._

* * *

My phone won't stop ringing. It's him calling me. Why? Why today of all days, did he decide, _'_ _I need to call her?'_

He never calls me.

Whatever. I'm not answering.

When I woke up my hair smelled like cigarettes. And my breath was hot and sticky. This happened frequently when he and I got together. He was like a drug for me. He came as a hiccup in my life when I needed it. You know the bump in the road that makes you spill your coffee on your perfectly, ironed white button up blouse when you are on your way to work during rush hour traffic. The day that you decide to car pool and the person in your passenger seat, looks at you funny when you get in the carpool lane and there is only two of you instead of three. That was who he was to me. He was that small occurrence that dared to change my day and throw me off. He defied gravity in the world of Bonnie.

I enjoyed our time together, it was the only time I felt free. He was reckless, and open, and spontaneous. We never planned our time together. We just started and let the day lead us. "Carpe Diem" he told me. I would smile at the notion because his whole life was bits and pieces of seized moments that he'd taken from me. We bought a polaroid camera, you know, the old school instaprint ones, like from the eighties that printed those on the spot pictures with the green tint to them. I have a couple hundred pictures of us. I look at the idea of he and I and wonder, could this work, forever?

When we wake up like this, I suppose I could feel dirty and unkept. I don't. I feel powerful, and Earthy. I feel as though I'm living life. Enzo grabs me and pulls me into him just as I try to get up. He does every morning we wake up together. Have you ever felt like someone was afraid to let you go?

Enzo's morning breath of whiskey and cigarettes is long overdue for meeting with mine. It's been a couple of hours since we fell asleep, but I could kiss him all day. Then someone knock at the door of the hotel and he gets up to answer it. I tell him to put clothes on, he doesn't. I laugh, and then we kiss. He and I are simple.

I don't love him. (Smirks)

What? I don't.

I can't. He's my fiancé's best friend.

Now before you go thinking I'm a horrible person, my situation is complicated. Lorenzo and I met through Damon. He is Damon's oldest friend. However, when we met our circumstances were being thrown together by Damon, so that he could do his dirt. He used Enzo to distract me. Not in a romantic way, just as a babysit my girlfriend kind of way. Little did he know, we had sex that night.

It was the first time I felt alive in a long time. He reached my body in ways Damon had forgotten about. He worked me like a I was a woman fed up, because I was. I get hot every time I think about that night. I love waking up next to him.

But…

I don't love him.

I can't.

I yearn for him, and it makes me crazy. He knows it does, he plays on every emotion he elicits out of me. He's also a terrible flirt. Not with other women, with me. He is not good at it, which is why I love his effort. He is the worst flirt I have ever met. But the efforts are so pathetic they are endearing, and I get turned on. I laugh, thinking how bad he is of a flirt.

Unlike my fiancé.

He's a great flirt. I know this because he proves it every time we are together and a pretty girl gives him attention. Which happens often. Damon flirts shamelessly with women right in my face, knowing the way it makes me feel. His current conquest, is one Elena Gilbert. She is beautiful woman that works for his family as an accountant. He met her working late with her one night fixing some errors in his parents spending reports. He never came home that night. That was our three-year anniversary. I waited up all night for him. I never went to bed. Come sunrise, I went back to my own place. A place I hadn't really been to for about a year at that point.

Well, let's clarify, Damon and I moved in together. Oops. Correction. I moved in with Damon. I kept my Condo, and left all of my belongings there. I simply stayed at Damon's every night, to the point that if I left to go back to my place, he would ask why I don't want to be at home with him. On that particular evening when Damon didn't come home, I decided it was time to go back to my small colorful condo in the city, and let him stay in his tidy, clean place in the burbs. There was no need to be disrespected further. Damon has been openly and publically dating Elena for a year. His family is very happy for them. Wondering when they are getting engaged. He feeds into it.

You may be wondering how I know.

Well. Five months ago, when Damon decided I needed a babysitter to go out on the town with me, since he couldn't make it, he sent me Enzo. I had never met Enzo, because he lived in England, he came back to the states, for a temporary business venture. Yes. He can leave any day now. I know.

He and I don't live that way though. We take it a day at a time. We tend to spend every weekend together. Now that I stay at my place, Damon and I spend fewer weekends together. I asked him if we could just have a trial separation to see how it goes. He said no. He told me I am his girl and that no one else could have me.

Yet he hasn't fucked me in months.

I am not complaining. I'm simply stating facts.

He hasn't touched me.

I'm just the artist fiancé, that gave him an entire three years of her life. Her all, her everything, her passion, her heart. I gave him fantasy; I gave him excitement.

The only thing I never gave him was my soul. That could quite possible be, because this guy right here captured mine, with his. Our souls have been playing together ever since.

When I met Damon, I had his routine down the first couple of months of our relationship. He is a Type A personality, anal at every angle, business man. He has two closets. One has all of his work clothes. His work clothes are pressed and delivered every week after he wears hem. The entire closet is filled with pressed, name brand suits that have an inch of space between them so that they do not touch. He shaves twice a day so that he is always clean looking. Damon is half Italian and half Armenian, so, needless to say he is hairy by nature. And I love a hairy man. But he has his body waxed every week. Except his manhood. Thank God. I hate a shaved bare penis. Damon ate hand delivered dinners, when he was out late, and at home his chef prepared everything. He washed his hands for twenty-five seconds every time. And he washed his hands a few times an hour.

He was very OCD, which never bothered me. What bothered me, was he found a woman who fit his mold. I was too outside of the box for him. He let me know that the minute his family been introduced to Elena AS his girlfriend, before they met me. When I had been around three years and she had been around a couple of months. Sure she was his parents accountant, but no one knew of her, why did he have to announce her in a way that I'm still in the shadows.

Now, I have a dilemma, this man before me is not my fiancé. I know I am wrong. No matter how wrong Damon is. I should never have slept with his best friend.

His shirt looks good on me; I say as I look at my body draped in his old shirt. His cologne, is turning me on. I need to understand something, why can't I just let him go?

I asked him who got the privilege of seeing him in all of his glory when he answered the door and he told me housekeeping. I laughed, because I know I can't let those parts of him go. His spontaneity, his humor, his ability to make me giddy. He also has the ability to make me angry. He is so damned passionate about things sometimes, just as I am. Then we argue for pointless reasons, and we get pretty nasty with one another. But the make up sex is incredible.

You know something weird, Damon and I never fight. He disagrees then I disagree, then I change to conform because he is always right.

Enzo and I argue all of the time, and we make up and move on. I must admit, I love arguing with him. There is something sexy about a passionate man that believes in something. Even if the argument is as pointless as to whether or not Cap'n crunch is better with or without crunch berries.

This room smells like debauchery, I say. He laughs, and tells me that's why I like him. His debaucheries have rubbed off on me. I drank a shot of tequila this morning to help my hangover. It helped my head, but not my hot sticky mouth. I don't have a toothbrush with me. This room was spur of the moment. He kisses me and tasted the remnants of last night on my tongue. He didn't even care, he searched for the flavor my tongue offered and he slurped me up. When he lifts me up and carried me to the counter top I lose my mind feeling him hard beneath me. His body immediately pulls the wetness from inside of me. It's not about his body hardness, it's about his smell, and his bodies reaction to my smell. When we sweat together the smell is so beautifully musty that it makes me wetter. It makes me want him more. Our smell, together is so warm, and sweaty, and dirty.

Damon who?

He cheated on me for years. I was faithful for three years. It wasn't until he made Enzo baby sit me that I even looked the direction of another man. And sadly enough the very first time my eyes wonder, I actually stray. That night Enzo took me like a man takes a woman, He controlled me, he fucked me, he made me cum. He did this all night, and afterwards he held me. Yeah, that's how a man does it. He makes sure she cums, and he always holds on to her.

Enzo holds me against his sweaty hot body, and we stick together. But together non-the-less. I love how he holds me to him.

I don't love him, though.

I can't.

He's not my fiancé.

But he works my body and my mind better than my fiancé.

When he carries me to the bathroom countertop, it doesn't take long for him to pull my panties down, but no, he wants to be dirty about it and he pulls them to the side, then pulls my body to his at the edge of the counter so he can place himself in the right position to enter me. He whispers against my neck in that thick accent of his, "I don't want to share you anymore."

I stop him then and there.

He can't do this to me. He can't tell me this. Not right now. We have such a good thing going right now. We have every weekend together. We text every day, and I see him and hear from him more than Damon. Why is he trippin?

I just look at him and say nothing. He grabs my wrists roughly, then he pins them behind my back with one of his hands and uses his other arm and pulls me to his cock roughly. He plays with my entrance a bit and he knows I hate being teased. I remain quiet because he is trying to ruin this game we have. This relationship we have sort of built. The second he changes it; we won't be the same. I can't let him do that. I can't let him change this.

"Stop teasing me."

"I said I don't want to share you anymore, Bonnie."

"Enzo, don't ruin this."

"Is that it, he can treat you like shit, and you can treat me like shit? The vicious cycle just keeps going."

"No that isn't it. The second you change this; we feel differently about one another. I like what we have. Now quit teasing me with your cock and please fuck me."

He stops talking and does what we do best. We get lost in the moment and he's inside of me before I know it. While he pushes in and out of me I just close my eyes and get lost in his thrusts. Every thrust is like a reminder of how much I need him, and can't risk losing him. Not because of his thrusting perfection, but because of his ability to make me feel all of his emotions when he fucks me. He's so emotionally connected to me, and when he's inside of me, I feel his contentment with us. I don't feel him straying. I feel that he is 100% engrossed in me. My body takes his and accepts his demeanor. Especially the rougher he gets with me. Pound for pound he pushes into my walls with such pain.

Pain? Why does he feel pain right now?

I should comfort him.

I should do or say something.

I can't.

I just selfishly let him fuck me. I hear my cell phone ringing in the other room. We both know who it is. The phone ring worsens the situation.

He carries me into the room and lays me down. He waits for my phone to ring because he has been ringing all morning.

It rings.

He answers it.

I freak out, what was he doing. I fought to stop him but I couldn't risk making a sound.

What is he doing?

Why is he doing this?

Fuck me, fuck my life.

"Hello mate."

"Why am I answering your girlfriend's phone you ask?"

"Well, she's occupied at the current moment. I can take a message though."

And as he pushes into me harder and harder, forcing me to moan, he puts the phone to my mouth and says, "Tell him why I'm answering your phone Bonnie. Oh wait she can't. I'm too busy fucking her."

Click.

He hangs up.

I try to stop him, I get up and he pushes me back down. "Enzo."

"Shut up, Don't talk."

He proceeds to fuck me so much more roughly to finish us off. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why he couldn't just give me time. I get up after wards, and he kisses me. He apologizes and he says he knows he fucked up.

* * *

I go back to my place alone. I need time to think.

I walk in looking cheap and smelling of Enzo's sex. My favorite smell. As I enter my place, its dark, and cold. I've been with Enzo for the last 72 hours. I don't bother turning on lights. A familiar aroma hits my nose. One that I rarely smell anymore. If I didn't know any better, I'd think Damon was here. I head to my room, still not turning on lights. I start to strip down to my birthday suit. I walk into the bathroom, and that is the first time I turn on a light. I start a hot shower and I just let the water hit my body. I cry because I don't want to make a decision. Although, I shouldn't have to. The decision has been made already.

I can't love him. (crying)

He isn't Damon, right.?

I think about him, and how he reminds me of LOVESONG by the Cure, to a tee. That is Enzo.

The song doesn't say much. It says the same thing over and over. But the few words it says, is Enzo.

I can't keep this in. I have to tell him now. I'm just going to grab my phone and send him the youtube video.

After a few seconds I send it, then wait for a reply. I step in the shower, to finish up.

As soon as I wash him all the way off of me, I get ready to get out. As I open the curtain He steps in.

Not Enzo.

Not the man it just took me five months to say I loved.

No, the man who has been cheating on me for almost four years.

I just stare at him, afraid, and unsure.

He looks at me with no emotion, except hurt. His eyes are red. He's been crying.

Damon's been crying?

My heart broke for him because, I have never seen Damon Salvatore like this. He pulled me to him, right into his body.

"Damon I can't do this."

He put his fingers on my mouth to shush me. He took me into a kiss, the most passionate kiss he's ever laid on me.

He looked at my engagement ring, which was no longer on my finger, but on a necklace around my neck. He felt like a piss poor excuse of a man. He knew, that Enzo must have told me about Elena.

"I'm sorry." He says looking at me.

He grabs me and makes love to me. In the shower.

He really doesn't give me a chance to fight him off. He just kind of takes me and makes love to me a way he has never made love to me before.

His thrusts are painfully slow, but beautifully erect inside of me as I stand in the shower and he pushes himself upwards into me. His body is rubbing against mine, causing friction against my clit and he's so deep inside of me, I have to stand on my toes with one leg, and he holds the other leg above his shoulder. His dick is in my stomach and I almost want to cry. I haven't felt Damon's body in months. He hasn't touched me in months, and I remember how beautifully hard he fucked me, and how he loved being buried deeply inside of me.

"I'm sorry Bonnie, I know this isn't the best way to ask for our forgiveness, I just wanted to make you feel good. I missed your body. I missed your pussy. I missed you. I'm a fuck up. I know I am. I also know I don't deserve you. I never have, I just can't seem to do the right thing by you. But I promise if you give me a chance, I will make it up to you. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you."

I really wish he would just fuck me and not talk. I don't want to think about it all. I just want to feel him, it's been months.

Oh my God. No.

Enzo.

Am I betraying Enzo? With my fiancé?

I can't focus on any of that now. I am about to cum, Good Lordy, this man still has it.

He made me cum and now I'm sleepy.

I am feeling lost and confused and ready to sleep it all off and worry about it tomorrow.

Until…

After about an hour I got a text back from Enzo. His response to my video text. Which I totally wasn't expecting and forgot about, no thanks to Damon.

 **"** **I love you too."**

Damnit. I can't deal with this sh*t right now.

* * *

 **This could be a one shot or a two shot. I haven't decided if Ill add one more chapter to this one yet.**


	2. Can't Love Him Part 2

**A/N This is for ZerYuKaname, I'm going to try this out for you. I'm actually quite enjoying, indulging on writing the darkness of Bonnie here. Thanks for the push of confidence.**

 *** Unbeta'd & Don't own the characters**

 *** Please Enjoy, R &R**

 **SHOT TO THE HEART is the series of One shots, this story is called _"Can't Love Him"_**

* * *

 **Summary -**

 _Part one: Bonnie is in a relationship with her fiancé, who's been cheating on her, He solicits his best friend to baby sit her so he can do his dirt. They begin having an affair. She has to make a decision when one is tired of sharing her._

 _Part two: This part, is Bonnie and Enzo, after they told each other "I Love you." The after affects of his changing affections and why she is hesitant about it. Delena revelation solidifies Bonenzo's bond when they have a public run in._

* * *

CAN'T LOVE HIM / PART II

I lay there while he searched my body for answers. I couldn't very well push him away, although, parts of me wanted to. He so cocky. He knows I love being made love to and then held. Why didn't I push him away? It could have something to do with him saying he loves me.

Maybe.

I guess in my own way I said it to him. I declared it and he ran with it. I may have motioned too soon to him. I mean, now, he is being all lovely and shit. That is what I didn't want. I didn't want him to just start being the consummate gentlemen. What works for us is we fuck, and we have fun. We love through our actions, not our words and our paraphrasing. Still, no one looks like he does naked. No he's not chiseled, to perfection, he's not even super cut like some thin guy who works out eight days a week. He is solid. His body is rock hard solid. No painted on abs or deep V cuts in his hip area. He is solid, rock hard, and manly.

When Enzo's body is on top of mine, I swear he will suffocate me with his hefty build. He's so fucking beautiful its maddening. When I look at Enzo, I think to myself, when God created the manly man, he created him in Enzo's image. I don't want to get started on his back. When my arms are wrapped around him, my hands never meet. He's wide, and burly, and fucking hard bodied.

But enough about his body, his mind is what's got me fucked up right now. He is being crazy affectionate. He's intertwining our fingers, and rubbing his fingertips against my skin, and being soft with me.

That is the thing we don't do. I mean we are affectionate, but it's in our looks, our glances, our passing by in the hallway while Damon is in the other room fixing us all drinks. Which I am sure won't be happening anymore. Not unless we invite Elena and make it a foursome, which won't be happening anytime soon. That's funny. Elena Gilbert. Come to find out I briefly dated her brother back in college. Small world, right. I never met her, I see her at the office when I go visit Damon. She stares at me a little too long, but do I know her personally? No. But Enzo has told me all about her.

"Bonnie why have you been acting weird today?"

"I'm not acting weird. I just have a lot on my mind."

"Seems as though your feelings have quite possibly changed since the words were spoken. Or should I say unspoken."

"It's not true. I just have to re-evaluate some things in my life."

"By things you mean Damon?" He says rolling his eyes.

"Enzo, it isn't that easy. I have been with him for almost four years. Regardless of his cheating ways, he has been the only person to give a damn about my life. He supports my endeavors, he celebrates my accomplishments with me, and he pushes me to be successful. Yes. He is shitty fiancé. Dare I say, he may not be good at being a fiancé at all. But in the my "family" department, he is one of the few people I genuinely consider family."

"And me. What about me Am I just the dick he won't give you?"

"That was unnecessary." I didn't want to be honest about having slept with Damon right after sleeping with him either.

"No Love, it was necessary. I call you on your bullshit. I don't act like a pussy about my issues with you. That is why you love me. I'm honest and don't kiss your ass, all at the same time, I kiss it quite affectionately."

"Enzo."

"Stop Bonnie, don't insult me with your bullshit. You love me, I challenge you. I make you feel alive and because of that you are afraid that if you let him go, you'll be forced to be a feel, and make decisions. He won't be able to baby you and make all of your decisions for you anymore."

"He doesn't baby me. Don't talk your shit Enzo. I'm not in the mood."

"Oh do you reserve the talking for Damon? What I'm just good for dick. I'm the stud just here to appease your sexual desires, Is that it? Okay, well since that is what I put you in the mood for, let's go. I'm ready for round two."

He grabs at me under my arms and turns me around, "Doggy style, that okay? I am the animal here, right? The one you look to for a good fuck?"

I want to stop him from being rough and crazy, but I can't. I fucking love it and he knows it and that is how it works sometimes. We fight, and this is how we make up. He fucks me then he holds me. That is our affection. When he holds me. When he pulls me to his sweaty coated body, and we stick together. And I wreak of him and he wreaks of me, and we wreak of sex. Dirty fucking, in the hotel room.

At some point in the middle of sex he grabs me by my hair from behind, and pulls me back to him, and bites my neck. It was painful I won't lie, but his pain always makes me feel good. He literally left teeth marks. When we were done, he didn't hold me. Not this time, he lifted me up and took me to the shower so we could get cleaned up, today is the day we go to the opera. Yup. He loves the Italian opera.

"What should I wear?"

"Wear the dress you said you were going to wear."

"Do you even like that dress?"

"I love anything you wear. Or don't wear. I love your naked body, and if it weren't illegal, we could both go in our skivvies. But I kind of don't want to share you anymore than I already have to." He says, as a matter-of-fact. Rolling his eyes like tomorrow depending on the heaviness of his attitude.

"Lorenzo, mon amour pour toi n'a pas de limites. J'ai juste besoin de temps." Then I kiss him gently.

(my love for you has no bounds. I just need time.)

"I will give what I can give, then I won't give anymore."

"Understood lover. Now give me those sweet lips, I need to taste you." I say to him. Because he tastes like whiskey and cigars and, got damn, does it make me want to fuck him when I kiss his manly flavored mouth.

We almost have sex again, but I've already put my dress on, and I'll be damned if I take another fifteen minutes to do it again. This corset can kiss my ass, breaking every rib until its all the way fastened. My tits look amazing though. The dress is purple, and long. Its cinched at my waist, making me look like an hour glass. My boobs are a solid B cup, but they look like a C cup right now. And the fitted top to this dress makes my neckline look so flawless. Thank god the bottom of the dress is loose and flowy.

"I need a favor, Love. And I feel like an arse for asking, but… tonight, I want you to be blissful with me, okay?"

"Enzo, seriously, it's not what you and I do. We are tongue and cheek, slap stick, the pillow talk is for people who are… in love."

We share a glance, and I feels my foot going into my mouth, so she stops it. "Okay." I agree.

"I know we aren't those types, Bonnie. The day will come one day, where I will be that for someone, if not you, and you will be that for someone, if not me. It will be amazing to see what it feels like for one night to be blissfully in love. Even if it's a game."

"Enzo, I will act as if I'm on cloud nine on Valentine's day if you want, tonight."

I would do it for him. He's a beautiful man, I say as I look into his dark eyes for some feeling of hope. Everything about him is hopeful right now. Can I be what he needs?

I'm so selfish.

I know I am.

He knows that, he let me be selfish from day one, and now he wants to change the rules. But I love him. I can't help it. I don't want to have fallen in love with my side piece. First, we were just revenge sex. That is how we started. Then he had to go and be my soul mate.

"Stop looking at me like that."

"Am I making you nervous, love?"

"It's just uncomfortable."

"Sweetheart, I am simply gazing at you. Lovingly. Practice for tonight. Come on get it together." He tells me.

"It's more than that. You weren't just practicing. You've been doing it all day Lorenzo." I say to him as we get in the elevator.

Enzo pulls me into the most passionate kiss I have ever felt in my life. His mouth opens wide, and makes room for our tongues to battle for dominance. I taste myself on him from earlier, my pussy on his breath turns me on. But its more than that. He has the ability to force his emotions on me. Right now I can feel all of his emotions. He's in pain again, but he's also completely happy. His feelings confuse me. But I'm so wrapped up in him, and I can't let him go. I can't fucking let him go. He's making me crazy. This beautiful disaster of a man. Why is he doing this to me? Why is he making me love him? I just want to hold him, and hug him, and be in his arms right now. How did he do that. How did he make me feel this bliss, that we are supposed to feign for the night? I can't feign it, it's real. I really feel this blissful satisfaction over me right now. He glances at me.

For the first time, in a long time he brings nervousness out of me. He is making me question myself.

Got Damn you Lorenzo.

* * *

We arrive at the opera, and he is flawless. He is in all black. Everything. From his hair, to his eyes, his shirt, cufflinks, shoes, suit, all of it.

I am watching him from across the room. He is talking to some business acquaintances. I decide to go to the powder room to touch up. I feel out of place here. These aren't my type of people. I'm a free spirit, freelance, artist. These opera people are stuffy. They remind me of the obscenities written on the public restroom stalls. Such an eyesore to society, but fun to try and read non-the-less. Their noses are as long as their dresses and coat tails, and they all wear black and white. Some have on grey. But look at me, here in my purple. I love watching him from across the room. His smile is so beautiful. Enzo, rarely smiles. Rarely shows teeth, but I see it every time we are together. But the vision of him smiling from across the room, he's fucking beautiful. All black everything. He appears to be this big aura of darkness, but honestly, he's such a bright light in my world. If anything I darken him. The way Damon has darkened me. Speaking of Damon, he looks like this great big aura of light, but he is truly dark. Something in him is dark. I love it, I do. He swallows me in his darkness and I let him have me fully, completely. But that is because at one point he was a counter to me. Now, he's a companion. We haven't spoken much since we slept together a few days ago. He calls me every night before bed, and every day when he is on his way to work. In between we don't talk much. In fact, he had something to do today. I don't know what his plans were, but, it didn't involve me. His plans used to always involved me at one point.

But Enzo, makes _ME_ his plans.

We make eye contact from across the room. He stops talking to whomever he is talking to and smiles at me, that insatiable smile. Then he takes another sip of his champagne. I smile, and mouth the three words to him silently. " _I LOVE YOU."_ Only instead I say " _Olivoil."_ He actually laughed. I heard him laugh from across the room. I then blow him a kiss and he catches it, putting it on his heart. Talk about acting blissful, this fool has me looking like a dizzy school girl. But for some reason, I don't even care right now. I look at him and then I motion with my finger for him to come to me. Slowly, but to me non-the-less. It was kind of seductive of me, but it felt right at the moment. He puts his hands on his heart and acts as if I am breaking it by not coming to him.

Oh my gosh. What are we doing right now, from across the room with one another? We are being teenagers. Blissful fools. But I'd do it for him. I'd be a blissful idiot for him. _He's worth it._ He has a hold over me. He knows it too. This is why he is trying to change the rules.

I look down to make sure my cleavage isn't too crazy for this function, ten more minutes til show time, and I feel like my breast are the topic of discussion here. If I came with Damon, not only would he have picked out my dress, he would have dressed me. He'd be adjusting this dress all night if he were my date, hell he wouldn't let me wear it. Looking down at the girls, they look perfect. I think I look great. And so does Enzo, Screw old what's his face.

"Damon?" I say as I look up to see him. He's technically approaching me alone, but I doubt he's alone. Still, my still beating heart stops, a slight bit of fear over comes me and I take a breath. "What are you doing here?"

"No. What are you doing here Bonbon?"

"I was invited."

"By whom?"

"More importantly,", I ask, "Who's your date?"

Walking up and being surprised to see me. She only sees me when I make trips to the office. Yes, she knew I existed. She always knew. "Bonnie, what a surprise."

"I can't say I am surprised Gilbert."

"Gilbert, how formal of you." She giggles.

"Well, formal is my middle name." I say and down my flute of champagne.

"Slow down, Bonnie, you don't need to drink like that." Damon says, knowing I can get a little frisky when I'm tipsy, and he wouldn't be the brunt end of my desires, not tonight. He can go make love to his molded, society deemed perfect, pretend girlfriend. With her long boring black dress on. High neck, and high waist, and that long brown ponytail of hers. So she appears to be flawless, but what is she like on the inside, huh? Is she hilarious and free? Like me. Is she hopeful and spontaneous, like me? Is she willing to be his cheerleader, even when the world is against him, like I was?

Fuck my emotions are getting the best of me. My eyes are starting to get watery. Fuck this. Fuck this night.

"Purple, what a salacious idea, Bonnie?" She says of my dress, and me being the only woman there not wearing black. She giggles again.

"I'm sorry, I hate being boring, like the mindless bunch of fucks here. I have my own mind, and it told me to wear purple."

"Your mind? You crack me up Bonnie." Elena says.

"Cover yourself up," he says rudely looking at my beautiful bronzed cleavage.

"No. I'm good."

He grabs my wrist roughly and whispers in my ear, "I will deal with you later."

I look at him, "To hell you will. You lost all rights to deal with me."

"Bonnie, I'm serious, Elena excuse us a second." He says and as she lifts her hand to his cheek to kiss him, I saw it, a beautiful Oval cut, engagement ring.

"Is that, a?"

"Oh yes, we are engaged, Bonnie. I'm sorry I thought you knew. I am sorry you had to find out this way." She says and the teeniest smile escapes her mouth.

I looked down at my round cut. I wore it on a necklace around my neck. I grabbed it, and looked at it, then I looked at hers. I snatched it off and handed it to him, I guess you can't technically be engaged to two people."

She looked shocked and like she wanted to cry. She looked at him and he gave her a look and she kept her mouth shut. "I guess he trained you well. That's why you are standing there, and I am not."

I turned to walk away. "Bonnie. Get back here." He said as if he were my father. "Damnit, Bonnie, it didn't have to be this way."

I turned to look at him. "Yes it did. It had to be this way."

The two of them walked up to me, "Bonnie, Elena, give me a got damned minute, please."

"Bonnie, I love you, but you just you don't want to be structured. Life can't just be about moving on a whim, living by the day, this Carpe Diem bullshit. Life requires structure. I needed someone to want to be structured. You need to grow up Bonnie. You live to loosely. Sometimes it's great, but sometimes, it throws me off my game. I need to be on top, or I will fall."

"Don't insult me right now. Structured love. That is what your telling me, love needs rules and structures, I get it. I was too much of a free spirit for you. I was too much purple, in your black and white world, Damon. She has that Stepford thing you need in this world I get it. Love a robot, not a woman. Believe it or not, I'm good Damon. When that fails, please don't think about me or call me, or text me. Okay. When you don't have the answers she'll have them, that's what you pay her for anyways, right? After all, that kind of love doesn't come free like mine. It won't have as much passion either. Good Bye Damon." Elena walks up before Bonnie walks off, worried about the exchange taking place.

"Congratulations Gilbert." I say, then I turn and bump into him. "Hey Baby. I missed you." I say. And I truly meant it. The entire time, I spoke to Damon, Lorenzo face was in the back of my head, letting me know I was okay. That beautiful smile I had seen, the loving exchanges we shared tonight. His whiskey and cigar breath.

"Sorry, I won't leave you alone for that long again. Have I told you, you are the most beautiful woman here tonight?"

"Yes. You have. But thanks again."

"I'm so happy you didn't wear black."

"I'm so happy you didn't make me."

"Me, make you do anything? Laughable." He says. It was true, he knew I was free from the restraints. He kissed me lovingly, and I mean lovingly. "It's almost show time, love. You ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

He glances at Damon, "Hello Mate. It's been a while huh? You and I never get around to having a drink anymore. Say, maybe one of these days, we can catch up on life." He winks at Damon.

He grabs me by my hand. Not my lower back like these other robots, in here. He grabs me by my hand, interlocking our fingers, and we are still acting like teenagers. Blissfully unaware of our surroundings. People were probably disgusted by us, but I didn't care, and neither did he. He gave me passionate kisses and embraces. At one point I caught a fuming, Damon. I didn't care. I asked Enzo if we could move somewhere else in the lobby while we waited to take seats. I needed Damon so far out of my life, and my periphery. Enzo was my future. Or at least, it felt that way, in that moment.

I can never completely let go of Damon. He has a tight hold on me. Even though it seems we separated amicably just now, don't let Damon fool you. He is relentless. He refuses to lose at anything, to anyone.

So for now, I'm going to Enjoy Enzo, for as long as he'll let me.

"Have I told you how incredibly sexy you look tonight?" I ask him.

"No. But I got the vibe by the way you kept ogling me from across the room."

"Ogling? I don't ogle."

"Keep telling yourself that, love. You undressed me with your eyes, you practically eye raped me. But I forgive you, because I plan on eye raping you later while I fuck you. Maybe I'll tongue rape you too."

"Stop, your turning me on."

"That's the idea."

"Except now I'm horny." I tell him.

He whispers something naughty in my ear, and I girl giggle like no other. I never girly giggle, but just now, that girly giggle was almost obnoxious. "Lorenzo, Stop." I say unabashedly, like an insatiable flirt.

All eyes were on me. _ALL_ eyes.

We didn't end the night without receiving plentiful compliments on my purple dress. Even Damon's sister in Law Caroline, complimented me. In front of Damon and Elena. While Elena spent the night showing off her ring, I felt naked around my neck. I felt a bit naked without the ring I had worn for the past year and a half. I only felt that way until Enzo grabbed my hand. He felt like my accessory. My beautiful arm candy. Ugh, I gotta get him back to the hotel, I'm so horny. "I can barely tolerate looking at you in that dress anymore, ready to go? I'm gonna fuck you senseless." He says honestly.

"I thought you'd never ask."

"Let's blow this joint." He says, rushing me away from the crowd. Damon's eyes burned through the skin on my back. He wasn't done with me by a long shot.

* * *

 **Another Update of this to come! I think it will be a five part-er. I will still work on other one shots though. This will just be short story told in about five parts.**


	3. Can't Love Him Part 3

**A/N** **This is for ZerYuKaname,** **Thanks for indulging me on my soap opera of Bamenzo, its a dark emotionally challenging short story.**

 *** Unbeta'd & Don't own the characters**

 *** Please Enjoy, R &R**

 **SHOT TO THE HEART is the series of One shots, this story is called** ** _"Can't Love Him" This is part 3, It will be a 5 parter_**

* * *

 **Summary -**

 ** _Part one:_** _Bonnie is in a relationship with her fiancé, who's been cheating on her, He solicits his best friend to baby sit her so he can do his dirt. They begin having an affair. She has to make a decision when one is tired of sharing her._

 ** _Part two:_** _Is Bonnie and Enzo, after they told each other "I Love you." The after affects of his changing affections and why she is hesitant about it. Delena revelation solidifies Bonenzo's bond when they have a public run in._

 ** _Part three:_** _This part, is Bonnie having three months of bliss with Enzo, finds out he doesn't want marriage or kids. She reminisces on the beautiful, and beautifully damaged past of she and Damon, when she ends up at Delena's engagement party alone after Enzo stands her up. Someone waits for her at her apartment, but who?_

* * *

 **Can't love him/ Part III**

It's been three months of Monogamy. He makes me happy. I'm twenty-eight. Lorenzo is thirty-three. I think its's a beautiful age difference. Damon is also thirty-three. These two men want different things out of life; and that's fine. Except one thing. Enzo doesn't want what I want. Damon wants what I want. Damon, and I wanted the same things together, at one point in time. Now he wants it. With Elena. I guess. I'm not sure how they can truly love one another. I swear their union seems pledged. Forged. That is one way of looking at it. Another way of looking at it, is Damon had not grown up yet when they got together. Now he feels as though three months has taught him a lot. Maybe my absence has taught him something. Hurt, and pain make people change.

I regret nothing. I gave him three years of loyalty and faithfulness. Loyalty is big in my world. I guess, t is why I remained loyal to Lorenzo, he has been loyal to me. I can't handle anymore lying or deception. I thought I could never feel whole again, and maybe I won't feel whole again. I can say this, I was tulip, in this world of concrete and weeds. Damon turned me into a red rose, and Enzo turned me into a sunflower. Both, exceptionally beautiful.

One wanted me to be the most beautiful of all things beautiful, the other thought that I made all things around me beautiful. I just wanted to be a Tulip. Simple when I needed to be and elegant when I needed to be. I had a conversation with Lorenzo today about children and a family. I, want kids. I want a family. I am all about being a soccer mom, and teaching my kids how to paint, and cook, and raise two dogs. With a picket fence, and weekend trips to the beach. I know I am come off as a free spirit. I'm all about the moving freely, not being entirely too tied down, and limiting myself on rules and restrictions. This is the person I can afford to be right now. Because I don't have children. I couldn't be this person forever and live the life I desire. I desire a functional family, with dysfunction. I desire children that run in my bedroom every Saturday morning to cook for and spoil me with kisses. I'm traditional in a modern sense. I want to live my life first and have fun as a person, because once I become a mom, that is what I am going to take pride in being. When I think about it, it makes me happy. So happy I could cry imagining what a life with a family would be like. I grew up with two parents. One left early, the other stuck around and made sure to work so hard they didn't have to raise me alone. So I raised myself. Now I just want to enjoy the person I have become before I have kids. I can say I have gotten to enjoy me. Now, the next step in my life, I am ready to begin. My boyfriend isn't ready or willing. He's not interested in being a family man, or getting married.

I didn't think this all the way through.

Now I have an invite in the mail. Damon and Elena's engagement party. It is official now. Society knows they are engaged. I'm happy for them. I am. Like Demi Lovato says it, " _If happy is hurt, I am happy for him"._

 **(Four years ago)**

 _Welcome. Welcome. Thank you for coming out._

 _I was greeting everyone who came to my art show. Thanking them for showing support. I had done an art collaboration with my good friend Lexi Branson. She invited her boyfriend at the time, Stefan. They were hooked on another's juice. I mean inseparable. She used to tell me how passionately they made love, and how they could stay in for hours just making love to one another._

 _"_ _What is the appeal in that?" I asked. "Once I cum, I want to take a nap or be on my way."_

 _"_ _Yeah, I used to be that way Bon. But, something is different with Stefan. He makes love to me like he's afraid of tomorrow being the end of the world. It's very intense"_

 _Just as we speak of the Devil, he shall appear._

 _He walks up behind her and passionately kisses her. He didn't care who was around. I thought that was intriguing. Would it not be an amazing feeling to have someone so enthralled in their passion for you that they loved you hard, no matter who was around. That is that real love. That deep love. They had it. Stefan and Lexi had it._

 _"_ _Hey Bonnie. The show was amazing. I especially liked your piece on 'Men of distinguished culture.' It was a good representation of hardworking men. I think we need more women who appreciate men the way you do. You know we are not all bad guys." Stefan says. And as he speaks, a beautiful man, I mean disturbingly beautiful, walks up behind him._

 _He looks at me and says nothing._

 _I look away. He was intimidating._

 _"_ _Okay, well I should get my paintings and photos taken down. Before people think they are for sale."_

 _"_ _Aren't they?" Says the beautiful man._

 _"_ _No. I don't create art for financial gain. I create it to make the world a more beautiful place. To expose people to the idea of beauty which goes beyond being rich, and wealthy, beyond cosmetics, beyond paying me to show it. I show it so that people get it. It's is art and the world needs more of it."_

 _"_ _So_ _ **THIS**_ _is how you contribute to society. Doodling and letting everyone see your doodles."_

 _The nerve._

 _"_ _Doodle, dick?"_

 _"_ _I mean, Miss, these are doodles. I could sit in my basement, because that is obviously the only place I would allow paint, in my house, and do this all day. It isn't going to mean anything for my livelihood if I don't charge people for my hard work."_

 _"_ _You are the problem with the world. Everything has to cost something. Nothing is ever free."_

 _"_ _Well, of course, that is how functionality of economy works."_

 _"_ _Bite me."_

 _"_ _How mature of you."_

 _"_ _You are at my show, insulting me, talking about maturity. Why are you here?"_

 _"_ _Blind date, thanks Brother."_

 _"_ _Oh shit, him Lex? This is the guy you were setting me up with. The suave, debonair, rico, with an insatiable appetite for spontaneity. I get the feeling you lied to me so that I would agree to this."_

 _"_ _She sure did lie, Come one Lex. If that were the case, I'd have let you meet my friend Enzo. That most definitely isn't me."_

 _"_ _I most definitely am not interested."_

 _"_ _You can't handle a challenge I take it."_

 _"_ _A challenge, is that what you call yourself? You are a pompous asshole, with the affinity for sniffing your own shit, trying to figure out if it stinks or not."_

 _He laughs._

 _"_ _And it does. So eat shit asshole."_

 _"_ _Oh shit," Stefan says, throwing his forehead into his hand._

 _"_ _That's your problem little girl. You don't know how to deal with a man. You've dealt with boys your entire life. I'm the challenge here. You can't handle my honesty. I get it. When the straw finally breaks the camel's back, let me know. I'll be there to teach you how to deal with the real world. Life isn't art. It's work. Hard work, in exchange of good and or services for wealth, in order to survive. If you give it all free, you let the little guy live on you, and suck you dry. Is that what you want? To be sucked dry? Huh. Little girl, I could teach you a thing or two about life."_

 _"_ _Thanks Lex and Stef, but no thanks. Bye… you ass you!"_

 _"_ _What a little brat!" Damon says. "So where to for dinner?"_

 _"_ _Damon, you were a complete ass to her. What the hell?" Stefan says._

 _"_ _She needed the truth, I am positive no one has been honest with her in her entire life. Did you see the clothes she had on? What is she a fucking hippie. She's a socialist isn't she Lexi?"_

 _"_ _You are a dick. My friend can do better than you." She runs after her friend._

 _"_ _What, you miss Katherine that much, that you would screw up an opportunity with a great girl? She is smart Damon, she's educated. She reads to kids, teaches art, volunteers at homeless shelter, funds her own menu to feed them every Sunday, runs errands for elderly people, funds her own art shows, and teaches it for free to inner city youth. Maybe you could learn a thing or two from her."_

 _"_ _Damnit. I am not good at this Stefan. I am not ready."_

 _"_ _Yes you are. Katherine left months ago. Almost a year. She was a total bitch Damon. I met Bonnie and instantly knew that she was what you needed. You just made me look bad."_

 _"_ _Ok. I'm sorry. If she comes back, I'll apologize for being a dick."_

 **(End of Flash back)**

Eventually he apologized.

I'm laughing right now. That was him. That was us.

Damon came into my life at a time I was very young and naïve. Of course he was an ass about that first meeting, but to be honest, I needed to hear some of those things he said. It was true. I was twenty-four I had somethings to learn about business. He taught me. He helped me cultivate business, he helped me to negotiate selling and marketing to big businesses. He really took care of me in the business sense. And in the bedroom sense. Oh my God. The first time he made love to me…

 **(Damon and Bonnie's first time)**

 _"_ _Damon, how long do I have to keep this blind fold on?"_

 _"_ _Until I take it off Bonnie. Stop being difficult."_

 _"_ _It's just that, I can't see."_

 _"_ _Of course you can't. That is the point. Now stop being a brat, and relax, why don't you."_

 _"_ _Ugh."_

 _I remember walking through an environment that was very cold. Like snow, it was crunchy and dry, and cold. Then I was suddenly in in a warm place. The temperature was extreme. He undressed me, but I had a bathing suit underneath my clothes. As per his request. He picked me up bridal style, and walked me back outside in a cold environment, blindfold still on, then he walked holding me, into the warmest water, almost hot. When we finally got all the way in, he took off the blind fold. We were in the middle of the woods, at a private cabin of his, in a hot spring. I was in this beautiful hot spring, surrounded by snow and wilderness, darkness, and cold. In this large hot rock pond._

 _He stood behind me and held me close to him. I was pressed against him. It was our fifth date. With all fairness we lived an hour away from one another, and both had demanding schedules. The dates lasted over a span of about two months._

 _He told me he couldn't help but to fall in love with me fast. I had a strong hold on him and his heart._

 _"_ _Bonnie Bennett. My beautiful Bonnie. I know this feels soon. I know I should really take my time, but I don't want to. You make me want to do amazing things with you. Create beautiful things with you. You show me things differently than anyone else has, ever in my life."_

 _He turned me to him._

 _"_ _I am hopelessly in love with you. I can't make you any promises in my life right now. But I know that one day, I want to marry you. I want us to have a family one day, I could see you being the mother to my children. I would want our kids to be a beautiful mixture of you and I. My hard work, and your strong will, and both of our good looks, My God could you imagine the little Devils we'd create?"_

 _We both laugh._

 _"_ _Believe me, when I say, I don't want ANY OTHER woman to mother my children. Because our kids need to have your heart to make this world a better place. I don't know a woman with a bigger heart. I don't want to know a woman with a bigger heart. You are the beginning to my end."_

 _I tingled inside in every way._

 _He slipped my bikini bottoms off. He sat on an underwater flat stone, in the middle of the hot spring. He straddled me over his lap. My first time with Damon, I rode him. I rode him often. He liked that position, he said, he loved being buried deep inside of me. He would straddle my legs so far a part, I could feel him inside of me for days after we made love. It was so slow, and gentle, and deep, and thrustful. He gripped my backside with the prefect amount of pressure. Spreading me, so he could be as deep as he could be. Balls deep, he hit my insides, leaving me damaged afterwards. He was one for leaving is permeant mark on me. he sucked and bit me all over. I had teeth marks and hickies everywhere. Rarely my neck, but once in a while, he had to put a stamp on me. When he made love to me, the first time, the mixture of the water in the hot spring, his wet body against mine, and the snow falling on us; I'm sure I came a few times. Then we slept in the cabin while the fire stay lit all night._

 _Damon is also the only man I have ever let fuck me anally. He is very kinky. He got away with murder with me though. Which included anal sex, The pain was unbearable for about five minutes. Then it was almost better than vaginal sex. Especially when he played with my clit. The thing about sex with Damon, is was always passionate. For such a clinically diagnosed OCD person, he perfected the art of making love. Rarely did he ever fuck me in the beginning. He got very rough, don't get me wrong, but he was so controlled, it just was done beautifully. He mastered my body and always made me look him in the eyes also. He had this thing about needing all of me, in that moment. ALL of me. Mind, Body, and soul. Damon hated sharing me with anything. Work, friends, business, he wanted me with him always. We were inseparable, I'd say for about a year._

 **(End of flash back)**

When we hit the year mark, I started graduate school. I was going for my teaching degree. I was always busy and our time was being divided. I was already offered an out of state job. It would have guaranteed me twice as much money as my current teaching position for the first year, then there was an annual increase in salary of about five percent, guaranteed. They would have paid for my schooling as well. After that, he became incredible busy with work. And women started filtering in and out of his call log. Only under disguised names, like "Johnson," "Fidora," "Gilbert." I wasn't stupid. I just stayed busy. I kept accepting side jobs, and taking every volunteer position I could. I ignored the hard facts. He was no longer in love with me. He stopped making love to me, and began fucking me after that. He was rough and unforgiving.

When we hit the two-year mark, he only fucked me in the ass. I hated him after that. It was so impersonal. I felt like he hated me. So I started going out a lot. I hung out with my friend again. Lexi and Stefan had just broken up, so she and I were going out of town a lot to party. I invited him, so he'd know I was being faithful, he never obliged. I was loyal still. Here I go crying again. I turned down the big job opportunity. But then I got hired by a large art supplier, guaranteeing my work to be all over the world, only in the sellout way. Hotels, hospitals, businesses, etc. strictly text book shit. I hated that kind of work. Secretly, every artists does. I took it for a while. He was happy. He loved me again, made love to me again. Looked me in the eyes when we made love. Then I was unhappy, I quit. I went freelance again. Shortly after that, we stopped having sex. That was around year three.

Year three I believe is when he and Elena got serious. His family accountant. She wore black tailored business cut dresses to work and she always kept her air in a neat ponytail at work. She was boring and plain. But organized, and business oriented.

Now here I am, sitting at their engagement party lone. Lorenzo was supposed to meet me here. It's been an hour. He sure is making me look bad. I am again, the only one not wearing black, or grey. Fucking business yuppies.

"Yellow always was beautiful on you." He says.

I turn slowly. "Thank you. I had this color on the first time you met me, you called me a _hippie socialist._ "

He laughs uncontrollably. I haven't heard that laugh since the first year we dated. I suppose Elena hears it now.

"Gee, I haven't laughed like that in years." He says. Shocking the hell out of me.

"Well, I just came to congratulate you. Finally getting your happy ending." I smiled half-heartedly. He knew me too well, to disrespect him with a real smile, because that would have been fake. One thing Damon and didn't do with one another was fake it. I never faked an orgasm, he never faked his honest opinion about my needing to take life more seriously.

"Well, it's an ending, I guess."

"You guess? That is a little off-sides."

"You know me. Controlled parallels." Meaning even his answers had to be calculated, not saying too much or too little. He was so smart; the way he did things.

I looked away from him. Elena walks up to us. "Congrats Gilbert. This was a beautiful evening. Down to the speeches." I know she wrote them both. He doesn't speak the way she writes. When he speaks from his heart, it was always so real it made me want to cry. That speech he said tonight was anatomized. He knows I know he didn't say that shit. Which is what he pays her for. Stepford bitch. "Seriously. I wish you both a life of love. May your future children be bestowed with his blue eyes and your olive skin." I'm being such a fake bitch right now. I don't pride myself on it either, because it's not me. But I don't care. This is Enzo's fault for standing me up on purpose. Making me face this evil duo alone. All because I told him, if he doesn't want kids, he can't cum inside of me anymore. He was very offended. He left half dressed. "hahaha." Oh shit, I laughed out loud about Enzo, leaving my place half dressed. "Oops. Sorry I wasn't laughing at what I said, I was laughing at something that happened earlier."

"Children? Is that a joke or something?"

"Excuse me… did I miss something?" I ask her. She seemed serious.

"Damon doesn't want kids. I thought you knew that."

I looked at him, then her. "Do you want children?"

"I mean, I suppose, but if the man I love doesn't want them, who am I to get in his way of pursuing greatness? I'll adopt later or something."

"Or something?" I asked her angrily. "It's our life Gilbert. Why let him make that decision for you?"

"Bonnie! I sincerely hope you don't think this discussion is technically any of your business."

"Fuck. You are right I am sorry. You know, you guys are perfect for one another. Congratulations." I say in a hurry to leave. That Damon Salvatore is a liar. Either he lied to me or he lied to her. Either way, I fucking hate all men today, right now. Forever. "I have to go. It was lovely. Good bye." I leave before they could see my tears.

It was all falling down on top of me. My life. What am I doing with my life? I want children. Like yesterday. I want them. My blood. Of course adopting is great. But I want children. It has been a childhood ideology, of the traditional since I could never let go of. I am a modern woman, of course. But I want my legacy in this world. Just like Damon said. My heart. Children with my heart for the world.

Then it dawned on me. His words always stayed with me.

 _"_ _Believe me, when I say, I don't want ANY OTHER woman to mother my children. Because our kids need to have your heart to make this world a better place. I don't know a woman with a bigger heart. I don't want to know a woman with a bigger heart. You are the beginning to my end."_

I get it now. He didn't want kids with Elena. So why marry her? What an asshole. I hate her, but she could stand to marry someone who will give her what she wants. All she has to do is find her own mind and POV first. Then maybe, she can really be happy. I know one thing for sure. They are not the consummate couple.

I got into a cab and drove for hours. Yes. I could have gotten an uber, but, I needed an impersonal ride. Uber is cheaper, I didn't give a fuck. All I could think about was the asshole marrying the robot, giving her part of the life he promised me. Then the dick head that stood me up tonight, in the worst way possible." I hate them both. I have nothing for either of them. I'm so done!

I finally get back to my place. After three hours with the cabdriver and $248.72 later.

I'm still in my yellow dress.

He's inside. Why? Why _HIM?_

"Hello."

"What are you doing here? I have nothing to say to you."

"I think we need to clear the air about somethings"

* * *

 **Who is waiting for Bonnie?**


	4. Can't Love Him Part 4

I Don't own the characters, please Enjoy!

 ** _"Can't Love Him"_**

 ** _Part IV_**

 ** _Rated M_** _Heavy_ _Sexual content, Adult situations_

* * *

 **Summary – 5** -part Story about a Torrid and Angst-driven, deceptive Love triangle Between, Damon, Bonnie, and Enzo with hints of Elena as told from Bonnie's POV.

 ** _Part one:_** _Bonnie is in a relationship with her fiancé, who's been cheating on her, He solicits his best friend to baby sit her so he can do his dirt. They begin having an affair. She has to make a decision when one is tired of sharing her._

 ** _Part two:_** _Bonnie and Enzo, after they told each other "I Love you." The after effects of his changing affections and why she is hesitant about it. Delena revelation solidifies Bonenzo's bond when they have a public run in._

 ** _Part three:_** _Bonnie having three months of bliss with Enzo, finds out he doesn't want marriage or kids. She reminisces on the beautiful, and beautifully damaged past of she and Damon, when she ends up at Delena's engagement party and Enzo stands her up. Someone waits for her at her apartment, but who?_

 ** _Part Four:_** _This part, Bonnie faces two men who owe her answers. One is caught in a web of lies, the other is humbled by his relationship with her. Both men have a lot to learn about love, so does Bonnie. Bonnie makes a hard decision about her future, regarding Bamon and Bonenzo._

* * *

 **Can't love him/ Part IV**

I got into a cab and drove for hours. Yes. I could have gotten an uber, but, I needed an impersonal ride. Uber is cheaper, I didn't give a fuck. All I could think about was the asshole marrying the robot, giving her part of the life he promised me. Then the dick head that stood me up tonight, in the worst way possible." I hate them both. I have nothing for either of them. I'm so done!

I finally get back to my place. After three hours with the cabdriver and $248.72 later.

I'm still in my yellow dress.

He's inside. Why? Why _HIM?_

"Hello."

"What are you doing here? I have nothing to say to you."

"I think we need to clear the air about somethings"

"We don't need to do anything actually. I need to go to bed, and you need to go home."

"Is that so?"

"Clearly you have a hearing issue. I said I have nothing to say to you. So why are you here?"

"I'm here because you showed up at my engagement party alone and looking like the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on, then you disappeared into the night, crying your eye's out."

"I'm okay, I wasn't crying, and I don't need your pity."

"Right. So your puffy face, red eyes, lack of eye make-up, and the fact you happen to be wearing the same dress I saw you in three hours ago, is you being okay? I'm just supposed to believe that, Bonnie?"

"I don't care about what you believe anymore. I don't care about your rules and organization. Most importantly, I don't care about your feelings. Your fiancé. Or who you used to be to me."

"You may not care, but I am here, because I care about you. Clearly."

"Hm. Clearly?" She chuckles. "If you cared we wouldn't be having this discussion. I would not have been at your engagement party to that robot. That STEPFORD BITCH! I would not be sitting here, wishing I had never met you, in turn having never met HIM, and I'd probably be somewhere happy with my salacious love making to random men, who take me rock climbing, and write me poetry, eat chocolate off of my body, or produce independent films. All the while, I never expect anything in return from them but what they can do for my body. I don't care about the feelings, and the emotions that come with loving men who don't love me in return. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to go to bed, alone."

"You're so beautiful Bonnie." He approaches her slowly, "I-I just-"

"Don't. Don't do that. You and your head games, and your lies, and your years of deceiving me, you don't get to say anything to me. I was patient with your cold-hearted, closed off, secretive behavior. Then you pushed him on me, so you could have HER?"

"Wait, what? What do you mean, I pushed him on you for her? That isn't true. Bonnie, I sent Enzo with you that night hoping he'd hit it off with Lexi, because she and Stefan had a bad break-up, and he got serious with Caroline right away. She was your best friend. I tried to be very low key about it. Why would I send my best friend of all people, to fuck my fiancé?"

"He told me, you were with Elena."

"Of course he did. He would do that. He has always been low, but wow."

"Damon, I can't believe a word to come from those pouty lips of yours anyway. All those lips do is lie. Lie to your fiancé about kids, lie to me about kids."

"I swear the night Enzo met you, I was planning to surprise you that night, he told me that you and Lexi got too drunk and had to call it a night. I was so disgusted, I couldn't get over it, like the stubborn man I am, I became begrudging about it, for weeks. Then one day, you just stopped saying I love you. I knew that you were falling out of love with me, but I had no idea you just stopped. So I pulled myself away from you. Because I knew that you would be bitter towards me, for the way things happened with your career. I didn't want to make the choice hard for you. So I became an asshole to make your choice easier."

I gulped.

"Stop. Stop lying Damon."

"Why would I lie, it's all been said and done already, I just never came clean?"

"What about our three-year anniversary and Elena?"

"Our anniversary was clearly a mistake on my end. I literally forgot. And Elena, well, at first it was just to get over your lifestyle change. She was a distraction. Then I started making her all of these promises I didn't mean to. I got carried away at first."

"At first? There's always a but."

"But, I make irrational decisions when I am hurt. I proposed to her to keep my parents from getting filed fraud, she saw some fraudulent activity, and I thought well I am already sleeping with her, maybe I can propose so she won't have the desire to report my parents to the feds. Or the IRS. Plus, I got her to illegally fix it all."

"That is a horrible thing to do to someone, Damon."

"I know, but I mean, I have come to care for her a great deal."

"What about the fact that you stopped touching me?"

"I guess I thought it would make you miss, me, want me more. As you can see that didn't work."

"But you were sleeping with her."

"Well, she practically undressed in front of m anytime we were alone Bonnie, I am a man. But I have made a mistake. A large, thoughtless mistake. A mistake it seems I will pay for forever."

"Why her?"

"Why not?"

"Then you fell in love with her?"

"Then, I figured, what the hell. No I am not in love with her, but I have love for her. She is a sweet girl."

"You expect me to believe all of this? Who proposes to a woman based on that, Damon?"

"A man, who's fiancé was in love with his best friend." He says with a straight face, buried in hurt and anger. "A man whose fiancé isn't ready to take her own life seriously enough to start a family."

"Is that what you think? I can't do this with you, Damon. I can't force myself to believe we are equally at fault, because regardless of what you say, I was loyal, and faithful for three years."

"I know and I am an idiot. I wasn't man enough then."

"I Don't forgive you."

"I'm not asking for forgiveness, just a second chance."

"Huh. You mean multiple chances. No Damon. I can't be with a compulsive liar."

"What about HIM huh? Where is he. Why were you alone tonight? Because I sure as hell could not have ever showed up to your engagement party alone... So that tells me he stood you up, right?"

"What do you care, Damon?" I began crying instantly. Where the hell is my Kleenex? "You must love seeing me like this. Failing at a relationship with your best friend whom I cheated on you with, huh?"

He walked up to me and grabs the Kleenex from my hands and proceeds to wipe my face. "No. I've never enjoyed seeing you cry." I just want to slap him right now. Making me break down in front of him.

"If you must know, He doesn't want marriage or kids. No matter how much he loves me, he won't give me the two things I want most."

He stepped back to look at me. He was confused, because he didn't think I was ready for those things yet. He thought I'd remain an immature girl forever I guess. Asshole, should have believed in me.

"Yeah. Surprise. Surprise. Young, Naïve, girls like me, want the total package too. It's not all about young and free to me Damon. On your fifth date, we made a promise to one another, that we would give each other those things. And only each other. And here you are, giving it to Elena."

"I would never have children with Elena. I meant what I said, about only having children with you. Yeah, I am too selfish a man, to have children with anyone with even an ounce of selfishness Bonnie. If You were not going to be the mother of my children, I would never have any. I meant that 100 percent. My children would have to have a mother with your big heart, because I know with just a portion of your love, they would be amazing people."

Stops saying amazingly sweet things to me, and let me hate you, you asshole.

When I break down he holds me He tells me what he thinks I want to hear. Either that, or he was sincere and I couldn't tell. Maybe I didn't want to understand him. "I didn't mean to come here and do this okay. I meant to check on you and see how you are doing, and tell you that I am here for you."

"Well, thanks, you can go home to her now. I appreciate your concern."

"You don't get it Bonnie. I- I -"

(Knock knock)

The front door. Why me? I thought. Thinking how could this night get any worse.

"Bonnie. Bonnie. It's me. I know you're in there, open the door."

"Oh my god. Damon, leave. Now. Go out my back door please. I don't need this right now."

"No. I am not leaving. Fuck Enzo!"

"Damon, he is still my boyfriend. Please, go out the back door before this gets ugly. He and I need to talk and I don't want the extras tonight."

"No. I'm not leaving. Tell him I am here. I could give a fuck."

"Damon you are being incredibly selfish."

(Enzo) "Bonnie, come on, open the door so I can talk to you."

"FUCK Him, he doesn't deserve you. You can do better than him, trust me, he was my best friend I know."

"He's good to me. Other than tonight. He has been loyal to me. I can't walk away from loyalty, because I know what it feels like Damon."

"Bonnie, ask Enzo about Althea. And Maggie."

"Who? What?"

"Just ask him."

"Okay, I will if you leave now. I have to answer my door. In the meantime, please, go out the back Damon. I am serious. I am done with YOU and HIM, and I am moving on with my life."

"No Bonnie. We deserve-"

(Enzo) BONNIE! I WILL KNOCK THIS DOOR DOWN IF YOU DON'T OPEN IT!"

"I'm Coming, just wait a minute."

"Is he violent with you, Bonnie?"

"Of course not. Unless I ask him to be, that is none of your business. Bye Damon."

"Okay, Okay, I am leaving. I know you owe me nothing, but promise me one thing ?"

"What?"

"Bonnie, promise me you will hear me out. I want the opportunity to prove to you that I can love you better than he can."

"Damon. Why are you doing this right now? Let me handle this. GO home to Elena."

"Promise me?"

"Okay. I promise, I will hear you out, I can't make any promises about anything beyond that."

"Deal." He leaves towards my back door.

I go to answer my front door. Damon sneaks into unbeknownst to me, sneaks in my closet instead.

I open the door to find the man, dressed in all black, and drunk out of his mind.

"Hello, Love."

"Are you drunk Lorenzo?"

"Maybe a little." He says holding up his thumb and index finger a few centimeters apart.

"Go back you your hotel and come talk to me when you are sober."

"No, I want to talk now." He comes in closing the door behind him and locking all three locks

He begins trying to kiss all over me. Roughly. And you know I love it rough, but tonight, I had no intention of loving the roughness of a lying drunk. Bump that noise.

"Not tonight Enzo. In fact, maybe never again."

"What? Why, I thought that is what we did best?"

"Oh So I am just sex for you? Get out!"

"No, the other way around love. I fell madly in love with you, and you just had to lead me on." He said to me then grabbed my shoulders violently.

"I don't like when you get like this Lorenzo. I'm going to bed. You sleep on the couch we'll talk tomorrow."

I walk to my bedroom to keep the peace and I attempt to close my door and lock it, but he and his liquid courage forces his way through it.

"What? Enzo stop. Get out of my bedroom!"

It took everything for Damon not to bust out of the walk in closet. Until he heard…

"You like it rough love. You like being fucked roughly, by me right? You make love to him, but you fuck me. You talk with him, but you fuck me. AM I RIGHT?" He screamed.

"No. Enzo. I love you. I told you three months ago. I said it first. So why are you doubting me. This side of you is ugly. This jealous, self-conscious side. Damon and I have been over. But you can't let it go."

"You think I am stupid? That I don't know, that I am your second choice? That you are so weak-minded for that cheating bastard, if he came crawling back to you, you'd lose your senses. If Damon wasn't planning your life, you were afraid you would fail. That includes with me."

He keeps shouting in my condo. I hope the neighbors don't call the cops.

"Lorenzo, I will always love Damon. He was my first everything. But that changed when he left me, at home night after night, showing me how much he didn't care."

"Then you used me to fuck you, because he wouldn't touch you."

"It started out that way for both of us. Revenge sex, because I was hurt by him and so were you for sleeping with your ex all some time ago."

"I may have exaggerated that truth."

"What?"

"I just mean, maybe I exaggerated the truth so that I could find a reason to connect with you."

"Lorenzo, you lied to me?"

"Bonnie, I – I did. But only because I wanted to have the reason to connect to you."

"You mean fuck me. You wanted a good lie to get in my panties."

"Bonnie, stop."

"No. How much of our relationship is a lie Enzo?"

"Bonnie."

"No. That night you and I met, was Damon supposed to meet up with us?"

"What?"

"You heard me, did you tell him, we called it a night, because Lexi and I were too drunk?"

"I don't know, maybe, I can't remember that was almost a year ago Bonnie."

"You're lying. I can tell because when you lie, you lick your lips right away. How could you lie to me all this time you made me cheat on my fiancé, based on a lie."

"If I recall I didn't put a gun to your head Bonnie. You were willing, just as I."

"But Lexi, was Damon trying to set you up with Lexi that night, then planning to catch up with us later?"

"Bonnie, why are you doing this?"

"Answer me, Lorenzo!"

"Oh I get it you spoke to him, he got in your head again. You always let him get in your head. He is your weakness Bonnie. He always has been. You believe anything he says, leaving your to be defensive for every man thereafter."

He was so right about that. Damon was my weakness. He was the love of my life. I was weak minded when it came to Damon, because he intimidated me, he always had it together. It made me feel like I was doing life all wrong.

"Maybe so, but I don't lie to you Lorenzo." Damnit, I am crying again.

"Stop Bonnie. I- I am sorry. Okay, let's work this out." He begins kissing me in my places of weakness, my neck, my wrists and hands.

"Stop Lorenzo, I am not in the mood." He continues to kissing me.

"Come on, we may have had disagreements, but we always managed to make it right in the bedroom. You never could say no to my dick."

I love his dick. That's the truth, But I won't be weak to him anymore.

"Lorenzo please, stop. I am saying **no** tonight."

"I don't really need permission though, right. Remember that time we role played. I was the burglar, and you were the poor unsuspecting lady of the house, you said, ANYTHING GOES. No safe words. Remember?"

He keeps kissing me all over, trying to woo me. Taking advantage of my weakness. Which is his body on top of mine.

"Then I tied you up and had my way with you. You always loved the rough stuff."

Damon was shocked. He and I tended to… well, we did it all, but he never got too rough with me, not so often, it wasn't really our thing. He felt instant jealousy in the moment. He didn't want to listen to me have sex with Enzo, but he couldn't stop it. Seeing me, and another man ravaging me did something to him.

"No safe words tonight, right Bonnie?" Enzo asks as he takes her dress off of her.

"You stood me up tonight, Enzo, it was humiliating."

"I'm sorry, love."

"Sorry won't cut it this time"

When Enzo pins my arms behind my back, as he stands behind me; he holds my wrists with one of his hands and pulls my hair with his other hand "I want to fuck you in the ass, tonight."

"No!"

"Why was that always the only spot, I couldn't fuck you? I know you let him."

"Lorenzo, stop talking about him, please."

"Why, you miss him?"

"No, because you are turning me off acting like you can't stop playing second fiddle to him. BE A MAN ENZO. Stop blaming Damon for your commitment issues!"

"That's it, bad little girl."

He threw me on the bed roughly.

"If it's rough you want, its rough you get."

"Why would you think after the day I had, I want this?"

"You always want this."

"Not tonight. I want to deal with everything and process it."

I push him off of me, then I go to the bathroom to wipe of my cried off makeup. Or what was left of it.

"Tomorrow. You can process it tomorrow." He tells me while he unbuckles his heavy belt buckle.

He picks me up and places me on the bathroom counter, then pulls my panties to the side. He knows I hate pulling my panties to the side. He jerks my body to the edge of the counter, and already rock hard, he pulls his pants down and pushes himself into me.

"Ahh." I scream out. This time it hurt more than it felt good.

Enzo gets rough with me and I wasn't in the mood tonight. My body was clenching and the pain was unbearable. Having sex, when you really don't want to doesn't feel so great, because your pussy doesn't get as wet. No he didn't rape me. This is our style of sex. Which shocked the hell out of Damon.

When he hears us going at it in the bathroom, he opens the closet door and spots us in the bathroom mirror. We never saw him, but he saw us. Mostly Enzo's back and my face. My eyes were closed. He watched Enzo savagely thrust into me. He could tell Enzo was drunk and I was just going along with it to keep from fighting. My face in pain, he wasn't gentle at all.

Enzo took me off of the counter and bent me over it. He kept at it, until my anger turned into passionate moans. Damon was unable to turn a cheek to the site of Enzo fucking me. Although he was insanely jealous and angry at what he saw, he watched. He wanted this to be the last time, Enzo fucked me. I moaned his name just to get him to hurry, and Damon cringed. Still he could tell I was faking it. He had never heard me sound like that. I was faking it. I faked it so he could cum quick, and then I faked an orgasm.

Suddenly, Damon felt bad for Enzo. I never faked it with Damon.

With all fairness, I never had to fake it with Enzo, but tonight, I wasn't in the mood.

His thrusts were so hard and painful, then he slapped my ass a bunch. I guess waiting til he left his handprint.

When he was done he collapsed over the back of me, but I quickly got him off and she stood up right, walking out of the bathroom, Damon ran back to the closet.

"Bonnie?"

"What Enzo?"

"Oh its Enzo now?"

He knows its Lorenzo when am loving and Enzo when I'm not

"Yup."

"Well, anyway love, I have to go this week to England. I'll be back in a couple of weeks."

"So you just came to get a good bye fuck, from me?"

"Stop. I will miss you. But I'll be back okay. I love you."

"Tell me this Enzo, why don't you ever invite me to England to see your way of life? Your friends, your family, your life? I have always wondered."

"There's nothing to see. My life is here; you are my life."

"Enzo, you live in a hotel here, and you have a home in England. You are fairly wealthy, I don't know because I don't ask, but there's an entire life of yours I am in the dark about."

"Nothing love, okay. I've gotta go. I will call you when I land."

"Just like that, huh? You leave me?"

His eyes get darker, if it was possible. and sad. "I love you Bonnie, that is all that matters."

He heads for the front door. "Who are Althea and Maggie?"

"What?"

"You heard me Enzo. Who are they?"

"Who told you…Damon. Bloody Bastard, Wait, he didn't know. Who told you, have you been spying on me?"

"Enzo, answer the gotdamn question."

"BONNIE!"

"ENZO!"

I scream while the demise of my relationship streams down my face in the form of tears, and I already have an idea because he won't answer the question.

"Either tell me, or don't ever come back."

"Bonnie, listen, if I tell you-"

"Stop Enzo, tell me." I got very calm as I felt my heart starting to hollow out.

"My wife and Daughter."

My heart sank. My chest felt hallow. Everything went deafening silent. When I came to Enzo was sitting beside me on the bed. "Bonnie. You fainted."

"GET OUT!"

"Bonnie please."

"Get out, and don't you ever come back!"

"Bonnie, you don't understand, Maggie and I are no longer together, and Althea is sixteen, I was young."

I was done talking I got up moving and making him shuffle to the front door. "Bonnie I love you, don't do this to me please. I meant to tell you but, I had no idea we'd come this far at first, and when we did, I was trying to figure out the right time, please."

"Don't ever come back." I close the door softly and lock all three locks. I turned and put my body against the door and slid down with my face in my hands I saw the frame with mine and Enzo's picture in it on the table next to me, I grabbed it and it and smashed it into the wall.

My mind is everywhere and nowhere all at once. You could not have told me he was deceiving me the entire time. All I feel is a world of stupid, because I can't maintain a trusting relationship to save my life.

I've never felt so low, so unloved, so betrayed. Nothing Damon did could have ever compared to what Enzo did, the deception from day one was so calculated.

The second man I ever loved, is the second man to ever lie to me for a substantial amount of time, then he informed me, that half of the lies I thought Damon told me were not real. He played Damon and I against one another for the past nine months. I have a feeling tonight was the last time I would ever see Enzo again.

I need a shower. I turn the water on. I need it hot, wash the betrayal of Enzo off of me. I lean my head into the shower wall, crying, the pain was unbearable. The entire nine months was a lie. My body felt instant loneliness when Enzo left. It was sad. I let the water hug me. I let the water, wipe my tears.

Until I felt cold hands on my back, I turned around, ready to freak out, but for some reason I was relieved. It was Damon. He wiped my tears, and held me. Just held me. He kissed me lovingly, and held me. In the shower, just letting me cry into him.

He felt my pain, he made me feel whole again.

I know this means he never left. He saw me fake it with Enzo and he heard every dirty confession.

"Damon, for whatever you heard, I am sorry." I said crying.

"Stop. Don't apologize Bonnie. You owe me nothing."

I continued to cry into his chest.

I looked up at him, tears and pink color flooded my eyes, "Make love to me."

"Bonnie? It's okay, I am not here for that."

"Just please, make love to me, Damon."

After everything I needed to feel love, and I knew Damon could make me feel that. He had that power over me whenever he made love to me. He couldn't help the power he had over me in that way. It was natural. He studied my body and it was the way we were. Even if only for tonight.

He took me in a kiss. It was subtle and soft. His face was torn between feeling elated, and feeling relieved. Not because Enzo was gone, but because at that moment he was the answer. The only answer.

"We always seem to connect in the water, don't we?"

He looked at me and smiled, "You and I have always been the Ocean Bonnie."

I knew what he meant. He meant our love went deeper than the Earth.

"Damon, I- this is just tonight. One time. I know you have Elena; I am not expecting anything past this. So don't feel obligated."

He put his fingers to my lips and shushes me like always. I know sometimes I talk too much.

"I know one thing is for damn sure, you won't be faking anything." He lifted me under both of my knees and leaning me against the wall, and entered me from the standing position. He went directly into me thanks to the water, and his motions almost put me to sleep. He gave my entire by love that night. Including my soul. The part of me Enzo had once danced with. Damon was reclaiming.

So what, he was going back to the Stepford Witch tomorrow. He would be making a life with her and giving her half of what he promised me.

It didn't matter.

What mattered was that in this moment, I realized no matter who I am with, no matter who he is with. We would always love one another. We would always end up pulled back to one another. The connection he and I had, in this moment let me know, that for the rest of my life, I had a man that would complete me fully. Maybe I lost him to her, or maybe he lost me to Enzo, but the truth is when we came together we were lost in each other, and no one, could ever be this to me.

This is the second time in a year he and I have made love. Each time was right after Enzo and I. I was beginning to wonder if this was some sort of claiming ritual of his.

"Look at me, Bonnie."

I opened my eyes. "No woman will ever bare my children, if it's not you. Ever. I promise you that."

Why did he say that?

Why would he say that while we make love? Unless….? No. "Damon."

"That feel good baby? Me inside of you?"

"Yes." He always managed to make me bend to his will. "Damon, I don't think-"

"Bonnie, shh, you think too much." He takes me in a gentle, and toungy kiss.

"Don't think about anything. Just let me fuck you. I just want to make you feel good, tonight?"

In and out of me, he's so deep. Yes, he's burried inside of me.

"Open your eyes Bonnie, I want you to watch this."

He makes me watch him slide in and out of me, "fucking love being inside of you."

Damon looks me in the eyes, and penetrates me, and we just look at one another. He's so consuming, he owns me when we're like this. This puts me over the edge and makes me cum which made him cum too, and it was blissful and beautiful. Best orgasm in a while, I thought.

"God knows I love your pussy so much. But it's been a while and I'm not done with you."

"Omg Ahhhhhhhh." He lifts me off of him, then he puts it in my ass.

I cry a bit, it's been about two years since I've done this. "Slow, please."

My breathing deepens. "I don't think I can do this Damon, it's been a while."

"Shhh. I've got you. Relax, okay. Look at my eyes, look at me. You see me?"

I nod my head. "Focus on my face." He tells me. "I love you so much, Bonnie. It's just me and you in this moment. No one else matters. Nothing matters."

I squeal a bit. The pain.

"I love watching your face when I'm inside of you." He stares at me, knocking down the walls Enzo made me build tonight. He nibbles my bottom lip.

And he's in. My God he's too good at what he does. The pressure is unbearable at first, but fuck my life it felt amazing. His face becomes possessive, he owns me right now.

"Fuuuuuck." I scream. "Yes. Fuck me."

"Do I feel good inside of you? Do you love it?"

"Yes, please. I love it."

He thrusts a few minutes, and his head burried in my shoulder mine against the shower wall, thank heaven for this water. He works on making me forget about my current level of emotional pain. "Fuck me, Damon!"

He does and he does so well. Taking my mouth in a deep kiss.

He thrusts faster and grips my backside, sucking on my nipples.

This man does it and he does it so well. "I'm about to… again hhmmmm. Ahhhhhhh."

"Me too baby."

Thrust after thrust. My body tightens and I'm coming. Long and hard. He keeps it going and drawn out, he is the only man who can draw out my O, and once, twice, three times.

After a minute, he puts me down. How did he hold me for twenty minutes like that?

We finish our shower and get out. He sleeps over. Even though I tell him he didn't have to.

When I wake up in the morning, I am happier than I have ever been. I have clarity. Thanks to Damon. Thanks to him helping me feel loved, or I should say making me feel his love for me.

At that point, I couldn't even hate the stepford witch. I knew she could never fully have his heart, because I would always have a piece of it, I also knew that I finally was able to have closure with Damon.

"Damon, I know you wanted to talk about us. But just know I was dependent on you, the entire relationship. I understand how that can crowd or stress you. I needed you, hell, even when I was with Enzo I relied on things about you to get through. SO I need to see who I am without you. For a while."

When we parted ways I apologized for "my Part" in where we went wrong. Because believe it or not, I played a huge part. Then I thanked him, for being one of my greatest teachers, lovers, friends. I congratulated him on Elena and wished them well. Whether or not they decided to have children, I knew I loved him enough to allow him to move on and be happy.

That is when you know you have grown, when you can split from the love of your life, knowing you'll never find a greater love, knowing that you will always love them and want them, and being able to wish them the best in their life.

"I have a lot of growing up to do. I decided to check myself into rehab." I told him.

"Rehab, for what?"

"Depression."

I could tell he was shocked.

"The past couple of years I have been unrecognizable to myself. Too reliant on someone else to make me feel complete. I need to stand on my own two feet. I know you probably think rehab isn't the right idea, but…I am pulling myself out of my environment, and isolating myself to focus on getting centered."

"Wow, that is very mature of you, Bonnie. You really are growing up. I love watching you mature."

"Thank you Damon. Sorry, I won't be at the wedding. But, you know, it might be best. I hope she makes you happy. If she is worth your commitment, then I hope she makes you over the moon happy. You do deserve happiness, you are capable of loving and being loved without being deceitful. I believe in you. She is so lucky to have you." I said tears falling down my face, voice getting scratchy.

I swear I saw him cry too. A bit.

We hugged and parted ways.

Two days later on my plane ride to the center, I remembered the events of the two nights before. Enzo, crazed drunk, lying bastard. But that wasn't what stood out, what stood out is Damon's confession about children, right before he came inside of me. I surely hope it was a coincidence. Luckily I'm not ovulating but, still, that would have been underhanded of him if I was, right?

I had to laugh. I'm leaving for a year to go find myself. Six months in a center, six months on a retreat.

My nerves finally hit me today. I am freaking out. Alone for a year. With no one but strangers. The only person I can think of right now is Damon and how I am going to miss him. How when I come back he'll be a newlywed, and she'll probably be pregnant.

Soon as I land I am in freaking Oregon. What the hell am I going to do in Oregon?

Then a ruggedly handsome guy with dirty blond hair and blue eyes walks up to me.

"Hey welcome to Serenity Springs. I'm one of the Mentors, here. I am a former enrollee, and I've been counseling for five years. My name is Jax. I'm going to give you a tour."

God help me. I thought as I exhaled staring at him.

"Hi, I'm Bonnie."

* * *

 **Was this a surprise twist?** Stay tuned, the next chapter is the conclusion. And yes there will be more Damon and Enzo, and the Stepford witch (Elena). Thanks for reading!


	5. Can't Love Him Part 5

**Can't Love Him**

 **Chapter 5**

 **Chapter rating T**

 **A/N- This took a while because secretly I always had an ending in mind, but I wanted it to really feel like Bonnie left a long time. This is a rollercoaster...emotionally. Bonnie Will be having revelations and coming to terms with the cold hearted truth. It will be filled with surprises. Please, please, please Enjoy this Chapter! Thanks for prompting me with this.**

* * *

 **Summary – 5** -part Story about a Torrid and Angst-driven, deceptive Love triangle Between, Damon, Bonnie, and Enzo with hints of Elena as told from Bonnie's POV.

 ** _Part one:_** _Bonnie is in a relationship with her fiancé, who's been cheating on her, He solicits his best friend to baby sit her so he can do his dirt. They begin having an affair. She has to make a decision when one is tired of sharing her._

 ** _Part two:_** _Bonnie and Enzo, after they told each other "I Love you." The after effects of his changing affections and why she is hesitant about it. Delena revelation solidifies Bonenzo's bond when they have a public run in._

 ** _Part three:_** _Bonnie having three months of bliss with Enzo, finds out he doesn't want marriage or kids. She reminisces on the beautiful, and beautifully damaged past of she and Damon, when she ends up at Delena's engagement party and Enzo stands her up. Someone waits for her at her apartment, but who?_

 ** _Part Four:_** _This part, Bonnie faces two men who owe her answers. One is caught in a web of lies, the other is humbled by his relationship with her. Both men have a lot to learn about love, so does Bonnie. Bonnie makes a hard decision about her future, regarding Bamon and Bonenzo._

 ** _Part Five:_** _Final Chapter in the story, Bonnie Meets up with someone in rehab that she has a conflict with from her past. She is then put in what seems to be an uncomfortable situation where she has to face the one man she loves as he marries the woman he cheated on her with. Her challenge is healing after all of the growing up she has done in the year she was away. Bamon, Bonenzo, Elenzo._

* * *

Can't Love Him Part V

So I bet you wonder what my life has been like for the past year? I mean, it went by so quickly I almost forget. To be honest, I missed some of it as it happened. I learned so much about myself that I can't remember when my epiphany actually occurred. As I was on my journey for self-discovery, I came to terms with the cold hard facts about myself. Over the years I developed in unhealthy addiction for love, and an unhealthy need for sex. I often confused the two and because of this I was using my tools to keep men when I just needed to use my heart. It turns out I was compartmentalizing a lot of built up anger I had from abandonment issues from my parents. Go figure.

I was able to have the opportunity to visit one incident in my past, that I felt had the most despicable effect on me, and fix the wrong with that one person. But I only had the opportunity to choose one person to fix my relationship with, and to move past something that I was having a hard time getting past. This would be the tool I used to model my problem solving on my own once I left ended the rehabilitation

The decision was hard for me. Picking the person who affected me the most. So I chose as wisely as I could. And you won't believe the person that I chose. But this person had every right to know things I felt about them, and how much those things shaped my last couple of years of my life before I entered the facility for treatment. So I will take you back to that day at the facility. The day that I invited Elena Gilbert to come and have a sit down with me to hear what she did, and how it affected me. Then I would hear her side of things. I believe I needed the most clarity from her to be honest. Enzo, lied, and it came out in multiple confessions between he and Damon. Then there was Damon who I was not strong enough at this point to see without breaking down. But if I could have these words with his fiancé, I really think that it can help me to allow him to grow with his fiancé after this.

Of course, naturally I was shocked when she came in and she was pregnant. In fact, tears fell down my face. I was not ashamed to allow her to see me cry either. I learned in the facility that I had to learn when to balance my power. Sometimes holding back tears of pain, was giving the other person power over you, making you feel as though you should not feel hurt emotions. Well, I could not give her the satisfaction of withholding my tears. I cried and let her see that, as I stood up to greet her. Since she reluctantly agreed to come and see me. The facility offered to pay for her plane ticket, but she wanted first class, so I am assuming Damon foot that bill. He is the type.

 **Meeting.**

 _"_ _Hello Elena."_

 _"_ _Bonnie."_

 _I take a long look and pause at her belly, then I nod my head in approval. "Congratulations. The two of you must be very happy."_

 _"_ _Well, you know, there is a lot of stress behind pregnancy. I wouldn't say it is as happy as people think." Then I wonder, the audacity to come to my meeting pregnant by my ex-fiance whom you cheated with, knowing I wanted his children, and tell me you aren't over the moon happy. Bitch!_

 _But I digress, I didn't call her a bitch out loud because this meeting is about healing, right?_

 _"_ _So, I am sorry to hear it is not all it is cracked up to be, but a beautiful baby will be brought into this world because of it. I know Damon is happy."_

 _At that point she kind of looked down and to the side and then back at me. "I just want a happy healthy child, you are right. That is what is important." She always has this plastic way about her. I can't get past it. She speaks, and I feel as though everything she says is scripted. That was always one of my big problems with her. So I told her. After all, we are here to move on._

 _"_ _Why do you always do that, Elena?"_

 _"_ _I am afraid I do not know what you mean."_

 _"_ _Yes you do. You calculate what you want to say before you say it. You speak in scripts and it makes me feel you are not authentic. I have hated this about you since the first time I met you"_

 _"_ _Well, Bonnie, I am sorry some of us just do not allow ourselves to blurt out the first thing we are feeling. It is really childish. Consequences come of saying things in the heat of passion."_

 _"_ _To be honest, this has yet to become a passionate discussion. But my hopes are that we can both lay it on the line, because honestly, of all of the people I could have chosen to come and resolve conflict with, I picked you. Which says a lot about me. Even you. I really am trying to give you the benefit of the doubt as a woman to have a fair shot at resolving our issues, since you were kind of brought into a problem out of reluctance."_

 _"_ _What is that supposed to mean? Reluctance? And I was unaware that you and I had an issue with each other."_

 _"_ _Well Elena, you reluctantly were there for my fiancé, when I was not, you reluctantly gave him a secure, and mature relationship that I couldn't. I did not have a plan for my future, and you, reluctantly, did. You brought him stability Elena. I could not do that." She looked at me in shock. With her long straight brown pony tail, and her royal blue tailored dress, made for a pregnant woman. She still dresses like a Stepford wife. "And yes, we have issues, you began seducing and sleeping with my fiancé while we were together. Looking at me whenever I entered his office smiling at me emphatically, and being a fake bitch."_

 _She gasped again before speaking. In her mind, I was out of line, I could tell. But in my mind I was just scratching the surface. "I did not come here for this."_

 _"_ _Yes you did Elena, you knew what this meeting entailed, I told you in the email. I do not want us to fight, I understand you are pregnant. The last thing I want to do is stress the baby. I am not heartless. That is the truth, but if you have harsh words for me spit it out."_

 _"_ _Hmm." She said. That was all she said for what felt like ten minutes we just sat there and looked at everything but each other in the big tanned room with black leather couches and plants and one window to look out of. So, I decided to spill my guts, even though she didn't deserve it, I did it. I allowed myself to be vulnerable to release her hold on me mentally and emotionally._

 _"_ _Elena, I loved my fiancé. Fuck it. I loved Damon with everything in me. So much so that I allowed him to consume my every thought. When I painted or photographed, had gallery events I never worried about the public's opinion, I worried about what Damon thought. He was hard on me. I didn't just decide one day to cheat on him with Enzo. Okay. I knew about you both for a while. Enzo lied to me about the entire night when he and I met. I was told you were fucking my fiancé and that he was supposed to be babysitting me to keep me out of Damon's hair. It was a lie, Damon tried meeting up with us, and Enzo told him he was taking us home to my friend Lexi's house, because we were too drunk to hang. From then on, Enzo told lie after lie to Damon and I, which didn't matter on Damon's end because he already had you and was lying to me about it. So I carried out a revenge affair with my fiancés best friend to hurt him for the way you and him were hurting me." I notice her eyes begin to gloss over._

 _"_ _Elena, as I was saying, Damon was hard on me as his girlfriend. He always felt as if I wasn't taking life seriously, or I could have a better career, and that I was not ready for commitment. None- of which were true, I just didn't want it all at the expense of giving up what I loved. So I changed my career path for him. Instead of freelance art, I was doing art for buyers so they could print it for ads, or hotels and hospitals. This was not the art I wanted to do. Once I realized that I could not take living under his thumb, I became reckless with Enzo. Instead of telling Damon how it made me feel. I loved Damon, but I was not honest with him, and to be completely honest with you, he was right about some things. I needed to grow up in some ways. Which I am working on now. Damon and I were opposites, which is why I felt like he and I complemented one another so well. Don't get me wrong, I loved Enzo, he was more like me. Somewhat reckless, and very spontaneous. He doesn't line his suits up like Damon does, and probably you too. But I loved Damon for his differences. I loved the person he challenged me to be, and I am sorry but no one can make love to me the way he can. So I know our connection runs deep. Then in my mind for a long time I felt as if, you came in and took it all away from me, then smiled in my face as if I owed you something when you got engaged to him."_

 _"_ _Well, that is not entirely fair." She finally chimed in. "As far as I knew, when you found out about us, you were relived because you were able to run rampant and keep being young, wild and free, as he called it."_

 _"_ _Well, he was right, I was able to be young and wild, but I was not free. The ties that bound me, were to Damon, and my heart broke every time I saw you two together. Even when I was with Enzo."_

 _"_ _Damon cares for you Bonnie."_

 _I sighed and looked at her. "I know he does. It just wasn't our time. But you have this opportunity to make him a great wife and mother to his child."_

 _She looked at me as if she wanted to say something but she did not._

 _"_ _So, how are you and Enzo? Do you communicate with him much?"_

 _Even though it was none of her business, I wanted to get shit on the table. "No. He sent me an email when I first left, and I have yet to read it. I have no desire as of yet to talk to him. He not only lied, but he deceived me for months. He played a terrible game with my heart and he is not on the list of people I desire to see."_

 _"_ _Are you angry with him?"_

 _"_ _Not anymore. I was, but I wish him all of the best. Deep down, I would like to think if he was a fraction of who I thought he was, that he is happy and hopefully he finds the one, someday."_

 _"_ _If I am being honest, Bonnie… Damon and I may be a lot alike, but that is not always the recipe for a good match. I get it, sometimes you need someone who will challenge you and look at you like only you exist. Sometimes a girl needs a guy to just make her feel alive in a way that only he can. Same with a man, a man needs that woman who will challenge him to be different, so he can be better. Not just as a man, but for the world, for himself, and in turn he will be what is best for her. I am not entirely a book glossary. I have feelings and a heart. I never meant to hurt you. I always thought you needed an out with Damon. A way to leave freely, without making it some drawn out dramatic event."_

 _"_ _No. It didn't feel that way at all. It felt like my heart was taken out of my chest. So I invited you here and not Damon, because you and I do not know one another. I wanted to move past this and so that you could be happy with Damon without worrying about me."_

 _"_ _Are you saying you no longer love him?"_

 _"_ _Not at all, I will always love your fiancé. That will never change. I will always imagine, he and I were meant to be, but in some other life maybe. We had the wrong timing in this one. I love Damon enough to let him go peacefully. To be happy with you and have the family he deserves to have. I love him enough to let him go."_

 _Her eyes got watery again._

 _"_ _Hopefully with time he and I can be friends again, and it will be okay with you. Even though we are not together, he was my best friend. I am not asking to be the same with him, but he did help me with my business and he gave me good financial advice."_

 _"_ _Well, you never know Bonnie, maybe you and I can be friends someday."_

 _In my mind I am thinking I highly doubt that, but for the sake of moving on it could be possible._

 _"_ _Maybe." I said offering a genuinely fake smile. You know I hate being fake, but I am talking to the queen, right here._

 _"_ _Bonnie, I know this is far-fetched, and that you have a million other things you can do when you are out of the center in a few weeks, but I was thinking… There had been a change of plans with my wedding ceremony. It will be much smaller and intimate. I hate to put you on the spot, But I wouldn't be where I am today, if not for you. Honestly. As you can see Damon and my wedding was supposed to be months ago, but the pregnancy threw a wrench in plans. I would love for you to come to my wedding. As a personal invite. Please, I know you do not owe me anything, but somehow, I have you to thank, and I think Damon would love to see you. More than anything."_

 _"_ _I don't know, Elena. Even though I am prepared to let him go, I do not know if watching –"_

 _"_ _Please Bonnie. What better way to heal?"_

 _She was right. This crazy woman was right. I had to let him go, and this was the best way. After all I was fully prepared to leave the center and he be married and eventually expecting a child. It just so happens it'll be in the reverse order.. So why not. I should let him know I support him, right?_

 _"_ _Okay."_

 _"_ _Promise?"_

 _"_ _Really?"_

 _"_ _Come on, I will have my parents personally send a car service to your home. Where do you live?"_

 _"_ _I will be staying with my friend Lexi for a while. Until I can get a job and get back on my own."_

 _"_ _Okay, what is the address?"_

 _She literally got all of my information that day and I had never seen her more excited in my life. So much for robot Elena, the Stepford Bitch. I guess I could ditch the name now. After all we are moving past our past. She came here different today, and it was refreshing. Maybe Damon had opened up more with her. Good for him._

 _"_ _Bonnie, I am sorry for how a treated you. I apologize for mine and Damon's reckless actions. You obviously did not deserve it, and regardless of what I thought at the time, I owe you this. You did nothing wrong. I acted selfishly and you really had every right to kick my ass." She laughed, I agreed. "But in it all, I am happy I met you and that you and I are able to talk it out and move on, like two mature women."_

 _"_ _And I am sorry for never having approached you in the beginning more maturely. I really want to move on and grow. I apologize for the part I played in this whole ordeal."_

 _We hugged and I noticed she wasn't wearing her large rock of a ring. "Where is your ring, I asked?"_

 _"_ _My pregnant fingers are swollen, it barely fits."_

 _I just smiled. All I can pray for is I meet a man one day that makes me want to have kids again. Because I only saw it happening with Damon. But I know I am capable of loving someone else, whenever the time comes. We hugged and parted ways. Elena and I. She emailed me every other day after that. Asking about things and I reflected on some of my time with her. We had some sentimental moments in our emails and she shared with me some things that surprised me about her. I never wanted this to happen. You understand this right. I never wanted to become friends with the woman who my fiancé cheated on me with and then proposed to and impregnated. It just kind of happened._

That was two months ago. I have been out of rehab for three weeks now and I am getting ready for Elena and Damon's wedding. Although, Elena never talks about Damon. Part of me knows it is because of her still harboring guilt, and the other part of me feels as though she is ashamed of marrying a man, who she may believe doesn't love her as much as he should. Either way, I have come to appreciate her as a person, and she has actually helped me to work on the business end of my career. She has proven to be more than just his Stepford wife.

Lexi is not in approval of our relationship, what so ever. She actually is angry with me for allowing this girl a space in my life, but it is all a part of my rehabilitation. I think Lexi thinks Elena might take her place, but it isn't possible. Lexi has been my backbone throughout this whole ordeal. Literally, she has been the one I cry to, the nights I can't make it alone. Now I am home, I haven't had to call her, she just comes into my room at night and we watch movies together. She started actually dating Alaric. Damon's other best friend. She took Stefan's relationship with Caroline hard, but after a torrid affair behind Caroline's back, and seeing what I went through with Damon, she decided to leave Stefan alone. Good for her.

Her and Alaric have been going strong for about six months now. I kind of like them together. Turns out her and Stefan's consuming sex life was really mostly their sexual compatibility. Kind of like Enzo and I. I can see it in her face, that Alaric is her Damon. He has already talked her into getting a house together. So I have another two months to get my shit together. Then I need to have a place to live. I can do it. No biggie, otherwise Elena offered me the opportunity to stay in her old condo. I am going to try to not have to do that though. I have my dignity.

"Bon, are you ready for what you are about to witness? Like mentally prepared?" Lexi asked me as I got ready.

"Of course, listen, I have become closer with Elena, and regardless of our past, I love Damon and he deserves to be happy."

"Even if you know he will be happiest with you? You are okay with going to this wedding?"

"Lexi, I am okay with it. Okay. Eventually, someone out there will be my Elena."

"That is not a life, I want you to settle for, regardless of Damon's decisions. What did you learn while you were away about yourself?"

"That I did a year of life on my own, without material objects, without a comforting relationship, that I didn't form while away, without being in my comfort zone, without fall backs, without you, without HIM. I did it without him."

"Okay, and now that you know you can survive without him, do you want to remain without him for the rest of your life?"

"I don't Lexi. Of course not. Why are you doing this to me, are you trying to make me relapse?"

"Not at all sweetie. I am just looking out for you. You found the truth out there, and the truth was Damon. You have admitted the fact that you may not end up with him, but do you except it? I am just trying to get you to be honest with yourself."

"I know, and I am. I am happy if he is. I am secure with not being selfish, because I love him that much."

"Okay. Okay Bon. I get it, and I am so proud of you. A year ago, you would not have been able to answer that question without any bitterness. In fact, a year and a half ago you would have probably broken down." Lexi takes a breath and tears fall from her eyes. "God, I admire you. You really have grown and because of it, you are going to find your happiness Bon. It will come tenfold."

"You know at one point, I would be angry at Damon for having me living in his house, and just going about his routine. I left my colorful, and non-organized condo in the city, and succumbed to his boring, orderly life in suburbia, then I hated him for it. I chose to leave my place, and accept his way of life. Then I got angry at him instead of just asking him to compromise. You know what I missed the most about Damon, were the nights we spent at his house. Not because it was his house, but because when I was there, I treated it like my own house. No matter how mad it made him, he didn't stop it. I miss his eye rolls and his correcting me about my leaving things out of place. Crazy, huh? I missed living with him, even though I stopped staying at his place long before I went into rehab."

"Yeah, sharing a space with someone changes a lot." Lexi said, bracing herself for getting ready to move in with Alaric soon.

"It'll be great Lex, my advice to you, is embrace the differences, because it will be what you miss about him if you ever break up. Which I know you won't. You guys seem so good together. I've never seen you so happy about the future."

"I've never been so happy to be honest. Stefan and I were great. Very intense and passionate. But Alaric and I are very connected in every way. We just are a balance of things ya know? I feel good about our future and I could never say that about Stefan and I, so I sure hope he and Caroline have it with each other."

"Yeah, well I don't know, I met her a few times, she seemed nice, but definitely not YOU."

"Yeah, I'm not easy to replace."

"By the way, Lexi, thanks for taking care of my furniture and things in the apartment. I never thanked you for getting my things taken care of."

"Oh I didn't do it. Damon did."

"What? You never told me that?"

"Yeah, he didn't want me to."

"Oh. Hmm, I wonder why?"

"Who knows, I am sure he will tell you… One day."

"Yeah. So anyway, this is going to be an event. Huh? You are my date. What about Alaric?"

"He had his own invite. Before they knew he and I were together."

"You really don't think I am over doing it with this dress?"

"No, yellow is your color, plus it is a Summer Wedding."

"Yeah, but this dress is something I would wear to my own special event."

"Okay, pretend this is your special event."

"No, the rule of thumb, don't outdo the bride. Especially when she marries the man you are in love with."

"Well, her invite said dress in your best Elegant, Summer, party attire. She strikes me as the type of girl who wants her guests to look good for the pictures."

"You are right. Okay. It is unfair that Damon loves me in Yellow, though?"

"We will sit in the back."

"Good. No attention to my and her new and blossoming friendship."

"Ugh." (Insert Lexi's eye roll)

"Okay, let's go. Alaric is going to meet us there."

"Wow, we should take pictures together today Lex, although, they say you should never wear black to a wedding."

"Yea, Well, it is a funeral if Damon goes through with marrying Elena."

I laughed. She was incorrigible. She had my back to her death and I could never hate Lexi. I loved her so much for her undying love for me.

 **OOO ~ oOoo ~ oOOo ~ oOOo ~ ooOo ~ OOO**

We headed to the wedding. I guess I can describe my dress and the reason I was uncomfortable wearing it. It is fitted from breast to waist. It is sleeveless and the tip of the trim is traced with rhinestones. The Rhinestones trace the entire open back to the top of my buttocks. The entire bottom is loose and flowy chiffon, and it is feathered chiffon. So the layers' kind of look like a blossoming dandelion. Listen, it was with Lexi's help that I picked this. I literally had no time to get ready for this wedding. I wore, mint and yellow Gucci patent leather pumps. My hair was filled with loose curls and pulled to one side of my face. Lexi's suggestion. When Elena sent me idea of dresses, I was shocked at how dressy she wanted her guests, but, she is the kind of woman who likes appearance. Although, she is not one for bright colors. At all.

As Lexi and I drove, I felt this weird feeling in my stomach. It was almost like nausea, I can't explain it, I wanted to spit my intestines out, but I just had her pull over and get me a ginger ale. She was mad, saying we were going to be late, and I just kept thinking, how does she suddenly care.

We pulled up to this beautiful home, It was made of brick. I always wanted one of these homes, it is such a modern, southern, style, with the green vines draped on the sides and the white picket Fence and the white paneling and red doors. I am in love with this rental. So we pull up and there weren't as many cars outside as I thought. But funny enough, she did say it was an intimate affair. Then I saw Enzo's car, I knew it was his, because of the European license plate. Somehow he still manages to drive with that license plate and still hasn't gotten a ticket, or an impound.

My reason for being sick to my stomach was becoming Justified. Maybe my body sensed it, him being here. He should be an England, shouldn't he? With his wife and daughter. I digress. I rolled my eyes and after that everything was a blur. So let me go to real time and walk you through my life as it was happening to me. Brace yourselves, it's a bit of a ride.

 **~oOoOo~oOo ... oOoOo ... oOo~oOoOo~**

"Bonnie come on, hold my hand." Lexi was grabbing me as I am walking past the European car trying not to relapse. I was not prepared for this.

I reached for her hand and pulled her back. "No, No. I can't go in there. Damon and Enzo are friends again, and I haven't spoken to neither of them in over a year. I can't do this, Lexi, you were right. I am not ready."

"No, no, you are more than ready for this Bonnie. Stop and look at me. You are strong and beautiful. Okay. The strongest woman I know. You went a year telling yourself you were stronger than the woman you were when you were fighting between two men. A year without both of them and you became stronger than ever. I promise you, I will not let either of these men take away the yearlong of hard work you so bravely committed yourself to."

"Lexi." I plead with her right now I am crying and I know it is ruining my makeup. "No, I have to be prepared for this. I can see the two men who I loved and lost in the same place."

"Bonnie, look at me. You did not lose them, they lost you. Now get your ass in there and show them the women who got away." Lexi starts wiping my tears and patting my face, trying to salvage my makeup. "You have cried your eye liner off and your tented moisturizer is running with your tears. Bonnie!"

"I am sorry. I didn't expect this."

"Are you still in love with Enzo?"

"Absolutely not, he almost immediately lost all of my love when I realized what he did. But it doesn't change the fact that I did love him."

"Right, well the best thing for you to do is just be honest about things if you have to be. If he pulls you to the side to apologize, but right now. I have to baby wipe this make up off of your face. It is all natural. You are lucky you are so beautiful. Now let's **will** that redness away."

"You know part of me was happy when I had that pregnancy scare. You know the one I told you about while I was away. But it could have been Damon's or Enzo's and I would have had no idea. So I was obviously okay that I didn't end up being pregnant. But a part of me, just thought I had something to always connect me to Damon. Then I learned on my journey that it was better I wasn't pregnant. Imagine how hard it would be. But still I would have loved that child with my entire being, and so would Damon. But now, he and Elena have this fair chance to be happy without interference."

"Bonnie, why are you having all of the revelations about your treatment today?"

"Because, at the end of the day, I may have learned a lot, but I am still a hopeless romantic, in love with the idea of what I used to have with a man who was everything, that I just didn't see. We both had our faults, and we were both stubborn about it. Now we are here."

I really am throwing myself a pity party. So I pull it together and wipe my tears. I dry my face and sit with Lexi for about five minutes while she drinks a cold bottle of water and blows my face, making me drink another bottle of cold water. Anything to get rid of this redness.

"We've been out here for like ten minutes, Lexi. Let's just go. I am ready." Right, Bon. I am ready I convince myself. She grabs me by the hand and I walk slowly with my friend, and now I understand why she wore black. She wore black for me. I am laughing now. She is the best.

What is this? I turn into this gate and I see this large decorated backyard. It has about thirty or so chairs and no one is sitting in them. "Lex, how can we be the first people here?"

"We aren't Bon. Look." I am looking, looking, and there. She is pointing to a minister.

"Okay, but the wedding starts in five minutes."

"No, this starts in five minutes." She walks me into a large tent and we sit. A projector is set up. Alaric walks in and sits next to Lexi. On the projector, someone puts up a letter. So I read it.

 ** _To the woman I can no longer be without,_**

 ** _We search sometimes far and wide, and we don't always realize the one-person God intended for us to be with was there all along. Even if you don't believe in God, the Universe brings energies together, that create light, and from that light love is formed._** _(How beautiful, I think)_ ** _The worst part about not realizing who our light is tied to is the fear that you will always be in darkness, never knowing. Well, I had a light in my life, the light lit my entire existence, and gave me purpose, then one day I turned out the light and it never came back. I was lost, and scared, and lonely. No matter how much other light tried to infiltrate, they were too dim for the sky of my dark world. So I remembered, that the best way to get my light back was to remember it didn't only exist in real time, but in my heart. My memories and my mind were filled with all of the love of this light. It filled me to the point it helped me to get through an entire year without it. It lived in me, because it was the other half of me._** _(My eyes are watering to the point of no return now.)_

 ** _A man can never admit enough the love he has for the one woman who he considers his soul mate. The woman who without her existence he does not exist. She is the energy to his power, the light to his dark, the hot to his cold, the messy to his clean_** _(I'm laughing now. Oh my God I am laughing.)_ ** _When I first saw the light, it didn't take long for me to feel lost without it. Stumbling around in the darkness waiting for someone to show me the way, then she came, and even though neither of us stayed on our paths, deep down we both always realized that we were the light to the other's darkness. Today is the day, I pray the Universe leads her to my path, and allows her to accept that I want her to walk this path with me, forever. Lighting each other's darkness and creating the love that we both know our lights hold in this dark, world._**

I am in the mood to die in my Gucci shoes. I just want to run and hide, what the hell is happening?

"Lexi, Alaric, what is going on, where is everyone?"

I turn to a shadow at the door and it is Lorenzo, he walks in "Can we please have a moment alone?"

"Lexi, don't leave."

"Bon, It's fine. You need this."

"Hello, Love."

I could slap him for that one. So I did.

 **SLAP!**

"I deserve that. I deserve more than that."

 **SLAP!**

Again, I am on a roll. I think I feel better now.

"Well, it is nice to see you are still feisty." He says holding his cheek. "Listen, I want you to know I loved you. I loved you so much. But I loved you like a mad man. I man who didn't deserve you. I deceived you and hurt you and treated you like a woman who I couldn't be honest with, even though you were honest with me. I and my wife at the time were in the middle of a divorce, which is why I never took you back to England with me. My daughter was dealing with a lot because of it. We were in the middle of a custody battle because I wanted to live here in the states and her mother didn't want to permit me visitations. So I had to fight for half of the custody. I always wanted to tell you, but I was afraid of rejection, especially since the way I got you was very unfair to both you and Damon."

I just cleared my throat to him.

"Anyways, I am here permanently now. It took this entire year to get things situated. I surely have missed you." He reaches for my hand.

I try pulling away. "Hey, don't-"

"Just listen, I know you have every right to never forgive me. I do. I knew the instant your feelings changed I had lost you forever. I know how protective you are with your heart, love. I knew and I deceived you. You were right to hate me, I will never forgive myself, even if you do. But I have learned since then, and I have really tried to be a different man. Thanks to you, I have moved on, and that includes making amends with Damon."

"That is good for you Enzo. I know deep down you were always a good man. You taught me a lot about love and life. I appreciate what you brought to my life in those eight months. And" Here goes, I am going to say it, "I forgive you. I do. I wish the absolute best for you and Damon. Both."

I said it and it felt great and this weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. He kisses my cheek, and a small part of my fire still burns for Enzo. He lingered in my cheek and quietly told me, "I will always be here, for you, I just want you to know, no other woman will compare to what you and I had." I exhaled this deep breath I didn't realize I held and that exhale was me letting Lorenzo go. When he walked away he found a seat outside. Then _she_ walked in. Elena.

"Bonnie, you look breathtaking in your yellow dress."

"Why are you wearing that grey dress, what the hell is this?"

"Bonnie, as I said before, I could see us becoming friends. I like to see my friends happy. You and I have become close, and even Damon, he is a dear friend of mine."

"Friend."

"Thank you for forgiving me and thank you for allowing me to be in your life. Together with the help of a few people, we have decided to do something for you. Lexi, Enzo, Your parents, Alaric, and Me."

"My parents?"

"Hey baby."

"Then walks in my Foster parents. Sure I had parents, but we didn't have a relationship, after my grams died I went into the system for a while.

"Daddy, Momma, Hi What are you doing here? I told you I'd be flying home to see you next month."

"Surprise."

"Elena, what is this?"

Lexi comes in wither black dress and she looks at me. I am lost. "Lex?"

"Come on Bon."

When we walked out Lorenzo, grabbed Elena's hand and she sat by him. "What the hell, Elena and Enzo?" The chairs are finally filled. Everyone is wearing grey and black "What have you done Lexi?"

"It wasn't me. It was him." She points again, and he can't see me but I can see him. He is wearing a black tuxedo, with a yellow vest and tie and yellow flowers in his pocket.

"He hates yellow."

"He loves it on you."

"What is this Lex, I can't do this."

"Bon, Please. This is the day we all embark on the journey with you. You have been gone a year, and now we all want to see you."

At the end of this glorious walk way stands the man I love with all of my heart, and while, I'd love to say I am okay, I am truly nervous.

When I walk out he spots me. For the first time in a thirteen months, we lock eyes.

I am trying hard not to cry, because if I cry, I will really instantly go red again, and now I don't have make up on to cover it.

I can see his crystalline eyes from here, and he is so beautiful. I just stand there and I don't speak. In fact, I look at my shoes trying to bite back my tears.

They all allow me my silence.

For a few minutes, until…

"Bonnie Bennett?"

There is said it, now my eyes water.

"I know you can hear me Bonnie."

I Look up.

"There she is." He says calmly.

"Bonnie Bennett. Before anything today. I want to talk to you for a minute, I want to apologize and ask you for something that may be impossible to get but I will die trying."

"Hello, all of you hear today, I want you all to look at that woman in the yellow dress. She is the sunshine to my days. Everyone may be wondering why I did this day, this way. Well, to be honest, I did it all to commemorate memories I have of Bonnie. For example, her wearing yellow, it is a color I used to despise. The day I met her she was wearing yellow and I told her she didn't take life seriously enough, and that she looked like a hippie communist."

Everyone laughs.

"She Told me I was an asshole, and I knew I was in love." He laughs. "Then there was the time that I invited her to my engagement party last year. She showed up, the only one in yellow. Everyone wore grey and black. All of the business "Yuppies" as she calls them only wear black and grey. So no offence but I dressed you all as Yuppies today. Where I used to hate yellow I have grown to love it. It is her favorite, color. And she looks so beautiful in yellow."

He is killing me.

"I even wore some yellow today. I filled the garden with yellow flowers of every sort, and I even decorated with sunflowers, her favorite."

He really did. My first tear falls.

"I say they are weeds, she calls them flowers, so you see why we are perfect for each other?" He grins.

He makes me smile again.

"Bonnie, lived with me for a while, and it was a pain in the ass, we are so different in terms of living space it grew maddening. Then I realized, the problem wasn't her, it was me and my OCD, and I went to get myself some professional help. Shortly after she left. I knew I needed to make some changes in my life, as she was trying to change hers. She wanted to be better without me, and I wanted to be better for her. I always saw this light in her. Her light always brightened my skies, and I was so focused on grooming her to be a perfect business woman, I should have just accepted the eccentric artist she was, because that is what made me fall for her. The fact that she brought all of the eccentricity to my life, this laughter, this mess. I pushed her away being more of a father than a husband, and she didn't deserve it. She deserved my acceptance, as she accepted my compulsive ways."

He looks at me. Then my heart starts palpitating.

"Bonnie, I am sorry I did not support you the way you supported me. You were the reason I did everything I did, then one day you were gone and I lost my way. We took different paths for a while and even though I made a lovely friend during the time, I realized how much I needed you. I am sorry for not being who you needed, and I am sorry for not accepting the things about you, that made you, you. But If you give me the chance I will make it up to you for as long as it takes. I am asking you if you can forgive me? Forgive me for not being who you deserved.

"Damon," I say with a shaken voice. "You could have pulled me to the side."

He laughs. "But then I would not be me, Go big or go home, right?"

"Right?" He was the type. The flashy to my humble.

He walks towards me, and I am shaking my hand no and my head, "Please don't." My emotion is getting the best of me. The closer he gets the more my stomach turns, only now it feels like butterflies. "Damon, please stop."

"I can't stop, because in my mind, I haven't felt you in a year, and I have been dying inside." We are face to face and he grabs my hands into his pulls them to his lips and kisses them. He then puts his hands on my face and just looks at me. "God, I love you. You are more beautiful than the first time I laid my eyes on you."

I fight the urge to look him in the face but in true Damon fashion, he forces my eye contact. Knowing his eyes weaken me and make me want to make love to him.

He holds my face so close to his almost as if to kiss me but he doesn't instead he speaks again, "I am sorry. So, so sorry. Please forgive me. I will spend the rest of my life, loving you better than I did."

"Damon, I forgive you."

He is crying. I've only seen him cry one other time, which was when he found out about Enzo and me.

He pulls away to speak. "This doesn't have to be a wedding day. It can be an engagement party. It can be a welcome home party. It can be whatever you want. But Bonnie, if I can spend the rest of my life giving you what you need from a partner, and loving you more than I love myself, I would be honored if you will take me back, as your boyfriend, fiancé, husband, whatever you want. I will move at your speed. But if you missed me the way I missed you, if part of you just felt empty like I did in this past year, I am ready to change our lives right now, so we never have to be apart again."

I had too many questions. I did. "Can I have a moment alone?"

So, he obliged. I asked him about everything. Apparently my last night here, he left Elena at the engagement party, he was done then. He came back for me, but I didn't bother asking, and he just let me leave freely to find myself. The next day he began working on his plan to make things better. He also stayed in my apartment until he got a place of his own, allowing Elena to stay at his place until she got her own place. When Lorenzo got back from England, after realizing I was gone, he went to Damon's place to look for him and he ran into Elena and one thing lead to another. She is pregnant by Enzo, go figure. It is a little annoying to know, but it's better than her being pregnant by Damon. I guess. I laugh to myself because what the hell? Now this beautiful house I am sitting in is mine and his if I want it, and he has yet to furnish it because he waited for me, but he did hang my art up all over the walls. I am in love.

 **~xoOoXoOoXoOox~**

And so I did. It. I took the big plunge. I married him that day, as my foster dad gave me away. It was beautiful. The large tent was our reception hall, and Damon had a collage of pictures of us that he had made into a video with music. People toasted to us, and we loved on each other all day AND night. Of course! Why? You might wonder, did I go through with it? On such short notice. I was ready, I didn't want to go another day without him. We spoke our vows off of the top of our heads, which was fun, since Damon has never been so spontaneous. Elena and Enzo had their baby a healthy little boy. Then I found out four months ago I was pregnant. So now I am six months pregnant, and Damon is a mess. We want to be surprised with the sex of the baby. It is driving Damon mad, but it is really brining out my creative side not knowing. My art is flourishing because of it. I have decorated the babies unisex room. No cartoon characters, just music, love and art. Lexi agreed to push her wedding back until after baby Salvatore is due, because I told her that her Matron of Honor wasn't going to be pregnant in pictures. We keep in touch with Elena and Enzo, who moved across town. Which was best, but none-the less we all get together for holidays and birthdays, which includes Stefan and Caroline, and obviously, Alaric and Lexi. I helped with Caroline with Elena's baby shower and Elena is helping Lexi with mine. Who would have thought our lives would turn out like this, two years ago?

"Here I got your pickles and ice cream."

"Damon, I asked for chocolate malted crunch, not chocolate chip, and I didn't want pickles I wanted hot Cheetos."

"Bonnie, it is getting hard to keep up with you cravings. You have a new one every day."

"Well, you know, you relish on my cravings, because you sit next to me and eat them."

He looks at me with a stupefied look, Bonnie, I only eat them because I am sitting by you and you make them look good, but I don't just buy these things and eat them. I can't see how you just put anything into your body. You are pregnant."

"Damon."

"Bonnie."

"Damon!"

"Bonnie, don't keep feeding my baby all of that sodium."

"You make me eat clean for six days a week. I get one cheat day, and one guilty pleasure snack a day. So, I think Kale salad and salmon, lean ground turkey, cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, and brown rice… these are the things I eat every day, are enough. Which by the way, what is brown rice? It tastes like cardboard."

"It is good for you, better than the sodium and sugar you are stuffing in your face as we speak."

I reach to him and put a pickle in his mouth to bite and shut him up. Then he rolls his eyes, and I stick some ice cream in his mouth. To keep it closed.

I laugh at his pain, then he kisses me with open mouth.

"Damon? That is gross."

"Well, what's mine is your, right?"

"I don't see you carrying this baby or these pregnancy pains. Do I?"

"I am the delivery man. I have planted you with this spectacular seed. I have bestowed you with greatness."

"Damon, shut up."

"What? Imagine. How beautiful our baby will be. Especially if he or she take after me." He says and I hit him. "Just kidding. You know our child will be beautiful like you. And have my killer bod."

"Damon, maybe the baby will look nothing like you. Or act nothing like you."

"My personality it too strong, the baby will come out folding clothes and sanitizing her hands."

"You are silly. Her?"

"Yeah, I think it is a her. Because you are carrying low."

"What?"

"Yeah, you carry low it's a girl, and high it's a boy."

"No, it's in your hips to be a girl, and all in your stomach it's a boy."

"Either way, she'll or he'll be loved."

"Loved, and adored."

He wraps his arms around me as we sit on our couch and watch movies. He took the day off of work to take care of me, I was feeling sick. Then he holds me tight to him, and speaks.

"Damn right this child will be loved, and we will give him or her the most loving home a child could need."

"I agree. I can't wait."

I smile at him. He doesn't see it, because he is behind me, but he can feel my happiness. I know he can. "Bonnie, I love you so much, more than anything. I know you love me, and I just want to say thank you for loving me, the way that you do. Thank you for being my light."

"Thank you for letting me."

He holds me tighter, kisses my ear, and we finish watching Knocked-Up and laughing our asses off, while he holds my belly.

 **~The End~**

* * *

 **A/N So this chapter was a change from the last few smutty, dark, melodramatic ones. I wanted them to get right and end happily and healthy. I hope you liked the ending, and I hope each time you read something new while you were reading this chapter it made you wonder what the fuck was going on until the end! Thanks for reading and enjoying this short story with me. Besides, I wanted everyone happy at the end.**


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